Insomnia strikes, again. :/ Time for some Kerouacian kickwriting.
That's the benefit, I think, of having a non-themed blog. I can write about anything I want, whenever I want. I don't care if anyone reads it or understands it, or even cares, but I like to write it and I like to have it to look back on.
Anyway, I feel like insomnia has been a particularly virulent force in my life recently, though I've thought and thought and can't pinpoint a specific cause or even a plausible reason why. I'm not particularly bothered by anything (at least nothing serious enough to lose sleep over), I don't really have a - to use a completely middle school term that I wish I had a synonmn for, but I can't think of one so whatever - crush on anyone (so that rules out staying up late thinking about someone specific), I'm eating decently, getting enough exercise, my caffeine intake has actually diminished since college... what could it possibly be? I'm thinking that maybe my mind is overactive because I don't really have an outlet to discuss (or at least channel) a lot of the things I think about anymore. I actually miss school. (I don't care if admitting to that brands me a loser in some people's books. I've always liked school.) I miss being able to have discussions about interesting things in interesting classes. I miss being in a setting where going up to someone and engaging them in a discussion about the meaning of life isn't weird. I mean, sure, I've had some really interesting discussions along the lines of "intellectually stimulating" here in Copenhagen (late nights with Libby, the coffee shop with Tage), but they just haven't been frequent enough. I sometimes feel like I am bothering people, or that it is completely artificial in many settings, to talk about whatever I'm thinking about. Meh. I guess it's a good thing I have a blog. And a hand written notebook. Though I admittedly sensor myself here often. There are some things you just can't write about. At least not for the world to read.
Hmm... the more I think about it, the more really IS on my mind. Blogging has a funny way of bringing things you are thinking about to the forefront of consciousness, doesn't it? Maybe just for me because I'm such a tangential writer.
Maybe I'll end this post and try to sleep again soon. Maybe I'll try counting sheep. Who ever thought of that lame trick? I presume it's gotta work for quite a few people, otherwise there is no way it would be perpetuated as the "how to go to sleep mind game" prototype, right? I wish they had 24 hour fitness here. I've never lived near a 24 hour fitness, nor do I know if it's even a half-decent gym, but the appeal of pairing insomnia with an hour of ladder running on the treadmill at 3am is stratospheric.
Until next time... or until I get up within the hour because I still can't effin' sleep...