01. Go to Stamp Student Union. Have the Magi make you a iced white chocolate mocha (with whipped cream!). Mmmm…!
02. Dress up like a ‘Native American.’ Miss your counterpart cowgirl.
03. Go to Rugged Warehouse. Buy something by Juicy Couture (socks are a great choice). Think about the $98 towel dress and feel superior.
04. Drive to Tennessee. Visit Frat Rock on the way. Look for sea monster friends. Have a Diver in Memphis, throw fireballs around in the hotel room, and scrawl “leprechaun” on the mirror in lipstick.
05. Call everyone a h8r. Who isn’t these days? Bonus: Speak Smich all day. Find yourself unable to stop.
06. Go into Georgetown. Treat yourself to an expensive dinner at Mie N Yiu. Go get trashed at McFaddens afterwards.
07. Sneak attack a priceless work of art or a statue. Bonus points if said art or statue has a huge peen.
08. Go to Ikea. Pretend every display room is part of your “home.” Lie in the beds, try on the clothes in the closets, ask people what they would like to drink in the kitchens… Try to avoid getting in trouble in Småland.
09. Lie in your bed naked and thank God it’s you and not me.
10. Ask Mickey if he misses Minnie. I bet he does. Say hi to Sir Loin.
11. Go on Safari.
12. Have a dance party! Listen to Luda and pretend you’re thug. Continue speaking Smich.
13. Take lots of MySpace-esque pictures of yourself from above. Pretend you’re at The Happy Pig. Be shocked when you review the sheer quantity the next day.
14. Watch the ‘Can I get mah earz pierced’ SNL skit, anything Brian Fellows, and the Alabama Leprechaun newscast.
15. Make cupcakes! :)
16. Find a Chinese Friend. :)
17. Hop a flight to Paris. When you get there, visit the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame. Bring a picture of Ray Charles with you to the ET. Have your photograph taken with Ray Ray. At Notre Dame, wait until mass begins. Put your bag on your back under your cardigan. Run around pretending to be Quasimodo.
18. Hop a flight to Italy. Get on a train and go through Bologna station two or three times. Try to get your backpack stuck in the doors of the train. When you get off the Italian train, put on some DaVinci’s David boxers. Run around the train station making the “suck it” sign on David’s marble peen.
19. Go to Joss and order enough sushi to fill a boat. Eat it all.
20. Go out and purchase baby clothes (specifically, a chicken costume onesie for Halloween) for your unborn and yet-to-be-conceived baby.
21. Go spend an inordinate amount of money shopping for things you don’t really need.
22. Go to Starbucks. Get a sugary, indulgent venti drink and a dessert. Take pre and post feast pictures.
23. Listen to Saves The Day’s You Vandal. Air guitar on the chorus and think of me whenever the lyrics say ‘miss you!’ Allowing your spleen to drip from your pants: totally optional. (not recommended).
Happy 23rd Birthday, Mich!!
I miss you and can't wait to see you in a few months!!