Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Way I See It...

So, I was bored today and decided to browse some blogs I skim occasionally. I found an interesting article in Starbucks Gossip, which linked to this article in the Dayton Daily News, in which a woman expresses indignation over one of those "The Way I see it..." quotes on Starbucks coffee cups. In summary, Michelle Incanno ("an admitted Starbucks addict")'s cup was printed with the following Bill Scheel (a Starbucks customer) quote:
"Why in moments of crisis do we ask God for strength and help? As cognitive beings, why would we ask something that may well be a figment of our imaginations for guidance? Why not search inside ourselves for the power to overcome? After all, we are strong enough to cause most of the catastrophes we need to endure."
Incanno says that "As someone who loves God, I was so offended by that. I don't think there needs to be religious dialogue on it. I just want coffee," and as a result "her Starbucks days are over." Incanno, "[W]ouldn't feel right going back."

Beneath the article on the Dayton Daily News site, a number of individuals have struck up a debate about separation of Church and Sta...rbucks. Of course, I have my own .02 cents. Maybe one day Starbucks will print my opinion on a cup. So, the way I see it...

01. This quote simply alludes to the very real possibility that there may not, *GASP!*, be a God, a possibility I know millions of people at least subscribe to, if not wholeheartedly endorse. I generally consider myself overly tolerant, but sometimes I really dislike when people (Incanno) cannot respect the views of others to the point where they claim it is adversely affecting their lives and everyday routines. Scheel isn't expounding God-hating atheism or parading as a satanic Starbucks-sipping sinner here! Furthermore, I'm pretty sure I've seen a number of those quotes which have included some kind of pro-God sentiment. Geez, if everyone who ever got a "The Way I See it..." quote that they didn't believe in/endorse swore off Starbucks... bankruptcy, anyone? As a contemplational side note, I wonder what percentage of hipsters, on-the-go business people, and college students buying $4 lattes with 'Rent's credit card are theists.

02. In his quote, Scheel seems to be promoting personal, inner strength and self-sufficiency, two things one should presumably be able to cultivate, appreciate, and enjoy regardless of religious or areligious affiliation.

03. If all else fails, isn't covering the lame "The Way I see it..." quotes a nice benefit of slipping one of those coffee glove/java sleeve/cup insulator thingies on your cup? I've tried it. One of those thingamabobs covers the dumb "The Way I see it..." quote rather nicely. It also keeps your hand from scorching off. Multipurposed! How convenient. ... Just make sure you don't let the lid pop off so scalding coffee sloshes all over you. It's hot. Sure, you might get to sue Starbucks and become an overnight millionaire on account of your own stupidity but, let's be honest, filing a lawsuit because coffee (which is hot liquid, btw) sloshes out and burns you is sooo late 1990's McDonald's drive-thru style.


I drafted this post last night and was going to publish it today as written, but a trip to my local Starbucks has prompted what I feel is a necessary addition.

First, a rant. Today at Starbucks my friend and I were browsing the baked goods, trying to decide on two things that we would share. One coffeecake-looking thing didn't have a little sign in front of it explaining what it was, so we asked the barrista at the register. She told us it was a "Cherry coffeecake." Then, she asked us if we'd like to try it. Thinking that she was asking if we'd like a sample (sometimes they have samples of new baked goods), we smiled and gave her an enthusiastic "Sure!!" She pulled out the metal tongs and popped one of the cherry coffeecakes in a Starbucks pastry bag. Uhhh... we didn't want to try it to the point that we wanted to buy it. How misleading. Ugh. We weren't feeling particularly confrontational or aggressive, so we sucked it up, bought the damn cherry coffeecake, a slice of the raspberry swirl bread, a grande-skim-extra-hot-vanilla-latte, and a grande-skim-caramel-machiato. My friend and I then took our purchases outside to enjoy.

Our "enjoyment" didn't last long. The first thing we noticed was that the cherry coffeecake that we were slyly coerced into buying had chocolate chips in it. "What if I was allergic to chocolate!?" my friend ranted. We debated going back inside to tell the barrista that her failure to inform us that there were chocolate chips in the cherry coffeecake was causing my friend's throat to close up. Because it was untrue and would have merely been a desperate attempt to get a couple hundred dollars in free Starbucks cards, we decided it was overly cruel and not worth our time. Then, to add insult to "injury," the raspberry swirl slice was a bit stale. Damnit, Starbucks.

Then, THEN, came the zinger. As I sipped my grande vanilla latte, I noticed that I had "The Way I See It..." quote #238. (I wonder how many there are). Having just drafted the rest of this post last night, I decided to pay more attention to my TWISI quote than usual. I gingerly slid my coffee insulator thingamabob down so I could read the entirety of the quote. "The Way I See It..." quote #238 reads:
"Have you noticed that dogs are the new kids? You take a walk with your kid and your dog, but nobody says, "What a cute kid!" Instead, they say, "What a cute dog! What's his name? Is he a rescue?" Maybe if I put a collar and leash on my kid someone will notice her." - Judy Gruen, Humorist and author of The Women's Daily Irony Supplement
Brilliant. Fucking bloody brilliant. I wonder, if Michelle Incanno had gotten TWISI quote #238 would she swear off Starbucks for promoting child abuse? I wonder how many people have gotten Starbucks quote #238 and decided to swear off Starbucks because it alludes to child abuse... or the possibility that your kid is ugly. Probably no one. Conclusion drawn? Overreacting, like stupidity, seems to be a quickly spreading epidemic and your local Starbucks may be opening its doors as a Urgent Care Clinic.

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