Saturday, May 12, 2007

Roast or Toast

A candid account of my week.

Music | We are Scientists | TOAST!
Apparently this Claremont, California band has been around since 2000. I just discovered them this week. They got their name when a U-Haul employee was inspecting a van they had rented and asked if they were scientists. They told him they were musicians, but regret it, wishing they had lied about being nanotech geeks. Right, because respectable scientists really rent U-Haul vans to tote around their petri dishes in... Do nanotechies even work with petri dishes?? Check out the cd With Love and Squalor, particularly the song The Great Escape.
Fashion | Dries van Noten wedge sneakers | ROAST!
These hideous oddities were featured a number of times in the May 2007 issue of Harper's Bazaar. For the love of God, no. They remind me of the high-heeled Guess sneakers I had in, like 5th grade (I'm ashamed, but I'm sure my mom didn't pay $615 for mine and I didn't know better back then). If I see anyone wearing these, even a tried-and-true fashionista, I will be mentally throwing red paint on her, PETA-style.

News | Oral sex linked to throat cancer | ROAST!
If for no other reason than the study author being named Gypsyamber. Also, the fact that she added that throat cancer is relatively uncommon and the overwhelming majority of people... probably will not get throat cancer." Also, "We know that after age, the main causes of mouth cancer are smoking or chewing tobacco or betel nut, and drinking too much alcohol." Way to scare everyone, Gypsyamber. This could, however, probably be used as a decent excuse for people that are just super-anti-oral. "Oh, no honey. Not tonight, not ever. I don't want to risk getting oral cancer." Heh.

Grab Bag | Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey | ROAST!
Decent tasting whiskey, I'll admit (though I have limited experience with whiskey - that I can remember, anyway...), and until a few weeks ago I didn't really consider myself a whiskey girl. However, JD is getting roasted for the following reasons: (1) It really fucks you up, which isn't always a good thing. (2) The Jack Daniel's Distillery in Lynchberg, Tennessee is in a dry county. I roadtripped to Tennessee with my best friend for Spring Break this year. We were going to go to the distillery, but decided to skip it. Who cares how it's distilled if you can't get samples?! (Conversely, Yuengling Brewery, in Pottsville, PA is worth the trip if you're only a few hours away.) I bet the guys at Jack Daniel's (Jack himself?) specifically put the JD Distillery in a dry county so they wouldn't have to give out samples after the tour. Cheap bastards.

No comments: