Saturday, May 12, 2007

Fortune Cookies

According to Wikipedia (the utmost authority on e-knowledge), a fortune cookie is a "thin, crisp cookie baked around a piece of paper with words of faux wisdom or vague prophecy, usually served with Chinese food as a dessert."

Faux wisdom?? Vague prophecy?? No way.

I have a weird thing with fortune cookie fortunes. I can never throw them away. I think it's bad luck. They won't come true if you just send them off with the trash. I'm graduating college (God willing) in a few days and, sure, dozens of fortunes have gotten lost over the years; but it's one thing to lose them, sacrilege to actually throw them away. I've started taping them to my magnet board, forming a border around my Dansk magnetisk ords (Danish magnetic words) and cutting into the space I've saved for various beer and a Descartes' Cogito magnets . Sure, they are probably supreme examples of the Forer Effect (as is my sucumbing to their power), but whatever. My fortunes come true. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. "Good news will come to you from far away."
2. "You will sleep well at night" ... in bed. Good one.
3. "Your winsome smile will be your sure protection." I know, I don't really need anything in life besides my smile. I've always thought that. Thanks mom and dad for both your genetic endowments and the thousands of dollars you spent when I was a young teen perfecting what nature didn't.
4. "You will always have good luck in your personal affairs." Well, excellent. Who wouldn't want that? Thanks, China!
5. "You will travel wide for both pleasure and business." The key thing to note with this one is that the Chinese put pleasure before business, which I don't think is very common in Asian cultures. Such uncharacteristic prioritization clearly indicates that this fortune was intended especially for me (I always prioritize in such a way).
6. "You have a slow and unhurried natural rhythym." ... in bed. haha! God, it's too easy.
and the one I got with my order of Shanghai Cafe Orange Chicken tonight...
7. "Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you." Could it have been more perfect?

The lesson here: Keep your fortune cookie fortunes, kids. They may come true some day and, if not, at least you'll have some random lotto numbers to play, right?

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