What's the matter with Denmark?

Picture I took last year, in Noerrebro:


Part one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgADAa7rggo

Part two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2tVlLWJzYE

Part three:
1. crocs
2. the fact that people stop at street crossing signs all the time, at all hours of the night, no matter what
3. too retarded to use the slurpee machine correctly at 7-11
4. no word for "please"
5. not enough llamas. :)
... more to follow.

Why _________________ is Stupid.

Dworkin vs. Hovind

Creationism: http://www.tv-links.co.uk/listings/9/6169

Evolutionism: http://www.tv-links.co.uk/listings/9/5566

Croc Downdate... 'Cause there's nothing "up" about 'em.

I am in Denmark.
I saw people wearing/saw stores selling Crocs today.
Crocs... in Denmark.
I also saw those gawdawful jibbitz people buy to put in the holes.
The horror!
I thought they were an American atrocity.
I have deduced there is no fashion God.
The end.

Choose your own adventure

I realized I haven't posted anything new in over a month. I was bored and this is a boring, poorly written entry, but oh well.

I think Choose Your Own Adventure (herein referred to as CYOA - because that's what people in "the know" call it) books/stories are RAD. I'm sure I'm thinking about this because I'm approaching a "life crossroad" and making a big adventure choice soon (relatively unimportant to this fluff entry). Anyway, I've always been fascinated by the imaginary possibility that you can go back change the choices you make throughout life if you find yourself riddled with discontent (or, if you're about to get killed - "Damn, maybe going into the lions den to fight the evil Mondor wasn't a good idea... back to page 28!" or "Shit, stepping in front of a bus, jokingly recreating that scene from Stranger Than Fiction, is about to result in imminent death... back to page 4!"). Like, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had gone to a different college? Sometimes I wish I could find out. Or, if I hadn't gone into the lion's den to fight the evil Mondor.

I think if I were granted a superhero power I would strongly consider becoming CYOAgirl. This would be cool because then I could go back and maybe choose to also be Invisigirl or something cause, hey, I'm CYOAgirl and, damnit, I choose what I want.

This past semester, I had a discussion on the merits about CYOA pre-final exam (when I should have been last minute cramming, apparently, because I got a B+ instead of any sort of A...) in one of my philosophy classes. This computer science kid and I were thinking about a CYOA philosophy paper. Wouldn't that be cool?! There could be options such as "If you choose to believe in God as an omni-being, go to page 2," "If you choose to believe in God as a metaphysical but not omni-anything being, go to page 3," "If you choose to be agnostic, page 4," "... atheist, page 5..." etc. It could also include choice such as "If you believe the world exists only in as far as you can perceive it, page 6..." We thought it would be cool, anyway. The philosophical possibilities of a CYOA book are practically endless. It would rival a Homer epic.

Maybe I'll write one someday, but not anytime soon, because right now I find myself unable to focus on writing long enough to even write compelling blog entries anymore, much less epic CYOAs. Ugh.

Leigh Lezark

I'm fascinated by this girl. I'm not quite sure why. Maybe because she's the same age as me, yet is a veritable New York celebutante that hosts cool parties which cater to celebrities and other "people of standing" with her two friends every weekend (see: the MisShapes). Maybe it's her perfect skin, jet black hair, orangey-red lips, and ice blue eyes (Gawker has dubbed her "Princess Coldstare"). Dang, she's just so cool. Like Snow White come to life in ultra-cool DJing scenester form. She kinda makes me want to dye my hair jet black and shield myself from the sun for the rest of my life... perhaps even going to the extreme of using a rain umbrella (rain umbrella is specified, as opposed to a parasol, which is actually made to be used in sunny conditions) to shield myself from the ever-beating sun - asian style.

Also, her lip gloss is cool, her lip gloss is poppin'. (See picture on the right)

This post was utterly pointless, but I'm bored and it's been awhile.

Stop the Crocs!

OMG, vom. For the past few summers Crocs, the brightly colored, lightweight, holey-topped and sometimes jibbitz-adorned shoes intended to be used for boating or gardening have been growing in popularity. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why. I sat by with raised eyebrows and watched this trend grow among small children, their parents, and local boaters itching to expand their shoe wardrobe outside of the safe realm of Sperry topsiders. I rolled my eyes as friends and family members were slowly sucked into the trend, possibly spurred by a full page article (with pictures, oh, so many godawful pictures) published in my local paper last summer. I almost died when one of my good friends called me to tell me she was getting her boyfriend a pair, and asked what color I thought he'd like best and what jibbitz I thought he'd like as [awful] additives. "Jibbitz?!" I asked, "He's, um, almost 23 years old... Are you sure??... Crocs... Jibbitz... wait, Crocs?! Crocs with Jibbitz!? Seriously?!" I honestly have no idea what my friend was thinking (or what her boyfriend ever thought about his brightly colored jibbitz-decked new crocs). The subject became taboo.

I gleefully entered the long, cold stretch of winter, pleased that my croc exposure became limited to an occasional kid in a grocery store after soccer practice sporting crocs with socks. As spring peeked around the corner, I found myself looking around nervously. Was the trend over? Would people abandon their crocs, seeing them for the hideous mass of rubbery goo formed into "shoes" that they were? Would they come around and reappreciate the virtues of traditional flipflops and classic topsiders? Looking around my college campus, I began to think that they would. There is a Shoe God. His name might be ChristianLouboutinJimmyChooManoloBlahnik, but as long as it's not "Crocs," I'm happy. I realized that the absence of crocs may be due to my location. Surely college kids aren't a prime croc-wearing crowd. I headed home for the day to visit my hometown. Walking around downtown, I saw a few croc-ladden feet but noticed, delightfully, that the usual rainbow array of foot adornment seemed to be limited. I breathed a sigh of relief. Whew.

Then, I saw them. My friend sent me a link to the shoes pictured above, which are currently being sold for $49 a pair on the Bloomingdales website. I reiterate: OMG, vom. The former, in caps, was my initial thought. The latter, an abbreviated form of the word "vomit" was my initial reaction. Okay, I didn't really vomit, but I wanted to. The people at Crocs in Colorado have got to be kidding us. These are a cruel joke. Look at the name, for God's sake - Sassari!? More like "So Sorry," if you ask me. Clever homophony, Crocs guys. Haha, good joke. IMHO (which is all that really matters in this blog), the red and silver are, by far, the worst. The wedge style is quickly becoming beyond dated in all shoe materials, moreso in a mass of solid rubber foam. Do they have those little massager thingies that Adidas athletic sandals have/had?! Seriously. WTF? I cannot even write about these monstrocities any more. If I ever see these in person, I might die. I don't care how comfortable they are. There will never be any excuse to slip your feet into these uglies.

That is all.

You've got to be kidding me...

I was at Wawa the other day and saw this: Stacker2 Dieter's Water (sorry for the super blurry image). Yes, that's right, my friends. Diet. Water. Diet water. Water for dieters. What a concept. *rolling eyes* The World of diet products has reached a new low. Honestly, who the fuck needs diet water?! Water has 0 calories, fat, sodium, carbs, protein... Nothing!! It's not going to harm your diet. I didn't really get a good look at the water, but I assume that because it's by Stacker it burns calories thermodynamically or something. By the different colors on the two bottles, it may be flavored too. I can't get over this. This is completely the dumbest thing I've seen recently. Erm, get an energy drink. Better yet, get thee to a gym.