No shirt, no shoes, no bike lanes? No problem.

Since moving back across the pond from Denmark and leaving my beloved 'cykel' in the care of viking family, the Scandinavian in me has been aching to get back on a bike. I dream about blowing past the Friendship Heights Metro Station in the mornings, breezing down (up?) Wisconsin Avenue, jetting through Georgetown, and arriving at work astride a glamourous British racing green colored old Raleigh with a soft, tobacco colored Brooks saddle and maybe matching leather-wrapped handle bars, too. Did I mention I'd do all this in high heels? Emphasis on the word high. I don't do 'mid-heels.'

As I believe I've mentioned before, this pipe dream is unfortunately subject to a few glaring problems. The first is that I don't actually own the dream bike (yet.). The second is that I'm not sure how to bike in a pencil skirt and, because my office frowns on commuter shoes, there is little doubt in my mind that spandex/sweats/anything more bike appropriate would absolutely not be tolerated under any circumstances, even if I went straight to the restroom to change, did not pass go, did not collect $200 on my way in. The third problem, which I am delighted to announce is close to solved, is that bike lanes in D.C., while getting better, are sparse at best. According to Google maps' quickest route from my home to my office near Chinatown, I'd have to potentially go around not one, but TWO, traffic circles. All during rush hour traffic. With Virginia drivers and, worse, drivers from non D.C. border states. Twice a day. Yeep.

Enter: The Light Lane or, as I like to call it, the "Fuck you, I win! lane." As it claims, I will take safety into my own hands... with James Bond-style lasers shooting off of the back of my bike. Motorists be wary. I can't wait to see if this is actually released for public sale and what the price tag would be.