Patent leather... Shiny, waterproof, deathproof.

I just almost died. I was crossing the street in FAF-town on my way home and this car almost hit me. Being a roadrager (peds can be too!) I yelled "hey!" And the guy was like "well you're wearing all black!" And then, instead of pointing out the fact that I'm wearing a CAMEL coat OR that I'm in the CROSSWALK, I say (idiotically) "I'm wearing shiny patent leather shoes and your headlights are on, pay attention, asshole!!"

Totes hate myself. I'm dying my hair brown tonight.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Tuesddendum

4. It's just the red line... There is no "cruise" involved... Which is why it's baffling why my metro "captain" honked the train horn three times in succession when we left two stations on the line. I wasn't aware Dupont and Van Ness were ports of call. All aboard the red line.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Random Tuesdalies

1. I fucking hate Zips Drycleaners. The ghetto-ass non-folded-over-tip hanger that they returned my clothes on tripped me and made me get a two inch scratch in my brand new, butter-soft leather Delman flats this morning. Nevermind the fact that I left it on my floor.

2. Rasika's palat chaak is delicious. Actually, their entire $20.09 three-course restaurant week menu selection is. I recommend the salmon(s). Yes, you get two.

3. Girl on metro has scandi-white-blonde hair with hot pink streaks. I wonder if you had a skilled enough stylist could you get thin highlights of a rainbow of colors and have your hair look brown from at least three feet away. Like fingerpaints.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Alpine highs and confusion

Random morning-on-the-metro thought: What does it mean when people say "the higher you climb, the farther you'll fall?" Or is it "the FASTER you climb, the harder you'll fall?" (Which, now that I've typed it, makes absolutely no sense considering the laws of physics, right?) Anyway, I know it's metaphoric, but are we supposed to take that to mean "don't climb?" "Climb carefully? Leaving the metaphorical world for a second, I'm sure any seasoned climber will tell you that climbing, no matter how "easy" or familiar, ALWAYS has risks. Something could always go wrong. Does this mean a climber shouldn't climb? No. It means be careful. Logically, I think we can apply deductions about real climbing to the metaphor and realise what a stupid thing it is to say. It's like something boring, ugly, non-ambitious people say out of jealousy over people who are willing to take a gamble. Where's the fun in playing it safe?

I wish I was Rev Run sitting in a bubble bath right now instead of on a nasty orange pleather upholstered metro seat.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

'Grand' is a puzzling qualifier...

Sometimes I get funny commentary on funny things from funny friends. Here are a few e-conversational notes about Denny's "Free Grand Slams For Everyone!" (from 6am-2pm today, as advertised during the Super Bowl)...

NYC Interior Designer:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/03/dennys.grand.slam/index.html

My favorite line:

"You couldn't beat it. I mean it was a beautiful, beautiful breakfast. It was fit for a queen or a king," diner Annah Shoffner told CNN affiliate WNCN-TV in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Which leads me to another thought? Is anyone in this country employed anymore? (What are they doing on a Tuesday morning at a Denny's?)

So, Sarah Says:
You saw my facebook status the other day, right? [Sarah thinks it is so ghetto that the Denny's website is crashing over free grand slams. ] God, you're right, NYC Interior Designer; America is straight hood sometimes.

NYC Interior Designer:
Yes, which is why I sent you that link. It really is ridiculous. How could someone even come near implying that a Denny's Grand Slam is a meal fit for royalty? ...Then the news actually repeats/reports that! Ridiculous.

So, Sarah Says:
I know, and it's not the Bumf**k Courier either. It's CNN.

'Bourbs:
PEOPLE!!!! This is funny.

Also, I just got back from taking the GRE and I KILLED IT!!! Straight up son. And no, I am unemployed and would not be caught dead at a Denny's...ever.

Gross!

Pige ven:
Yay, congrats bourbs!

And NYC Interior Decorator, perhaps all these hardworking individuals went in for breakfast BEFORE work -- it said they started at 6 am. Or they are like the student who "identified himself as DeShawn" (does that mean the reporter didn't believe him?) and are going for breakfast before class.

So, Sarah Says:
What really kills me is that all this fraternizing with the hoi polloi was for a not-even-important-enough-to-be-on-the-online-menu Grand Slam. They could have upped the ante and at least made it a Moons Over My Hammy (Ham and scrambled egg sandwich with Swiss and American cheese on grilled sourdough. Served with choice of hash browns or grits) or perhaps one of the "grander" Slams, like the Lumberjack Slam or the All-American Slam [insert cheering crowd sound here].