So, Sarah Says...

The Little Old Lady on My Morning Run

2010-06-22T05:55:00.002+02:00

It's been awhile since I've written... I know. You may have thought my blog was long abandoned for Twitter. That wouldn't have been a poor assumption. Little blurbs of 140 characters each has been oddly a better fit for me recently. Though brevity has never been my strong point - if you've ever heard me try to tell a story, you're probably nodding - I guess I just haven't had a lot I've felt like sharing recently. And by "recently" I mean "in months."

I've always written this blog as more of a journal for myself than anything else. I don't really caring who else, if anyone, reads it. I like to chronicle interesting things that happen or random thoughts about random things when I can formulate them into substantial enough of a bundle to make sense. My thinking has been kind of scattered recently. I mean, I think it's been scattered my whole life... I've never been a very linear thinker... but recently it's been really all over the place. I guess because, honestly, from day to day, I don't know what I'm really doing or where I'm going in life. Overall I'm happy, but I often feel like I'm just sort of floating, along for the ride. I'm thinking this feeling will eventually pass. One day I'll settle and figure things out and "get a future." Someday. Until then...

The reason I'm writing tonight is because I've almost finished reading Haruki Murakami's What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. This book has taken me forever to read because 1) I read more digitally nowadays -- blogs, news sites... I love the feeling of hardcopy and it's very unlikely that I'll ever own a Kindle or similar, but that's just how it's worked out. and 2) Like all the Murakami books I've read, it's nice to savor. Read a little bit at a time. Put it down. Think about it. Savor it. Like dark chocolate.

Anyway, this post is going to be short because it's after midnight and I'm planning to get up and run in about 5 hours. I may write a longer review of Murakami's book later, but I wanted to jot this down for posterity before I hit the hay:

Murakami's book hit close to home. I've never really considered myself a runner, despite successfully finishing my first 10-mile road race this past weekend (!). Nope, not a runner. Someone who runs occasionally? Yes. A runner? Not really. I'm not really sure what makes someone a "real" runner... but I'm not it. Maybe runners are competitive? Am I competitive? Sure, with some things. But not with running. I've never and will probably never be a superstar runner. I don't need to win age group awards or run Western States. I'm happy enough just getting out there on the pavement for awhile. It's time alone, time to think. Like, Murakami, I don't really know what I think about when I run. It's kind of like dreaming... if someone asked me right in the moment, I may be able to tell them, but after the fact, who knows? Like dreams that are lost forever the minute you wake up, a lot of things get left on the road. Problems, troubles, stresses, frustrations... A lot of them just get left out there after a run, like leaves and footprints... and that's a good thing. I'd like to think I've left a few ideas for the next great novel and inventions that would have made me millions out there as well, which isn't such an awesome thing, but, hey, it happens.

Wow, I'm getting really tired. Where was a going with this? Oh, I wanted to talk about my morning run. I may have talked about why morning runs are special in a previous post, but I'm not sure and am too tired/lazy to look right now. Seriously, I'm fading fast and need to turn the lights off... If I have never talked about the special-ness of pre-dawn runs, I may eventually, but not now. Now, I want to mention my morning run "friend." Every time I run my "regular loop" (as opposed to the "DC loop" I sometimes run) in the early mornings before work, I see this woman. I used to see her five days a week when I was running that often, before I got my stress fracture. Now that I only run in the morning on two week days -- usually Tuesdays and Thursdays, I only see her then. This little old lady must go for a walk every day. I always see her walking in the opposite direction I'm running, on the same side of the road, when I'm about 3.5 miles in, shooting downhill on Wisconsin Avenue. She's usually between the entrance to Somerset and Saks Jandel on the right, just before I get to a small hill that goes over a little stream and is just long enough for me to hope the next walk light is red so I can stop for a second and catch my breath. I can almost pace with her. If I see her higher up the road, I know I'm going fast or running late... usually the latter. If I see her lower, I know I'm going slower or left the house a bit early... in this case, usually the former. If I don't see her at all, I worry. She's pretty old and always walks by herself. I worry that, if I don't see her, something's happened to her. I pay extra attention on my next run, looking out for her, making sure she's okay, still walking. I've been running by her for over a year now and I think she recognizes me. Sometimes she'll wave, other times she'll just smile a bit. I think it depends on the weather. I get more of a wave when it's warmer.

Anyway, it's weird. I've never spoken a word to this woman with the exception of maybe a "good morning" here and there, though I feel like I've gotten to know her during my runs. I could say the same for the business man at the bus stop, or the cyclist shooting down Connecticut Avenue towards D.C., or the slender female runner I always pass going the opposite direction on Bradley Lane.

When I had a stress fracture and couldn't run for a few months, I missed seeing these people. There's a nice camaraderie in those early morning hours. I wonder if they missed me, too, in my absence... Did they notice I wasn't around, running by, a human mile marker? I'd like to think they did because, truthfully, as much as I like running, sometimes there are days I just don't want to get out of bed. I run through every excuse in the book and then some (It's cold; it's dark; I worked out hard yesterday; I'm going to have a long day at work, I should sleep in...) before bribing myself (just get dressed and go stand on the sidewalk... if you still don't want to run, you don't have to...). But the real thing that gets me out of bed? My morning friends... especially that little old lady on Wisconsin. Weirdly, it sometimes makes my day to see her.

12:41 and the morning run is approaching fast. I'm off to bed. Night!

Mom's First 5k

2010-03-28T05:20:00.003+02:00

My mom texted me tonight to see if I wanted to do a charity 5k, which supports the middle school where she works, with her in a few weeks. Unfortunately, I've already got salon plans that morning, so I had to turn down her offer. However, I'm quite proud of her for doing it. I grew up in a relatively healthy household (no sodas, healthy, home-cooked meals, etc...) but, of course, there's always room for improvement. Recently, my dad's made A LOT of healthy changes; he's hitting the gym for lifting and cardio nearly every day, making healthier food choices (the other day he told me that the family was now addicted to Sabra roasted red pepper hummus -- "We eat it with raw veggies! So much better than chips and dip!") and just being overall excited about it and open to learning more. My mom's dabbled in exercise for years. A couple of times a year, she'll sign up for this or that group class (water aerobics, jazzercise, etc.) and has been practicing gentle (hatha, I think) yoga a couple of times per week for the past six months or so. When she texted me tonight, I couldn't help but think that she was slowly slipping over to "the dark side" (if you can indeed call a healthy lifestyle, erm, dark). The following text exchange made me laugh. I think I pushed her a bit too hard, too fast with the Jeff Galloway comment... [bolded text added for clarification]

SoSarahSays: You should do it with dad :)

Mom: He can't -- in Calif. [for work]

SoSarahSays: Can you do it? Is it a walk/run? Sorry I'm not available!

Mom: I have signed up.

SoSarahSays: Exciting! Your first 5k, right? We are becoming such an active fam!

Mom: Before you get excited - I'm walking.

SoSarahSays: So? I walk sometimes. You're still going the distance.

Mom: Wow. [Looking back, I feel like she meant this sarcastically. I know there are a lot of people who will argue that people who walk 26.2 aren't really "running a marathon," but you can't argue that it's not impressive to walk 26.2. Yeah, this is just a 5k, but you've got to start somewhere, right?!]

SoSarahSays: Everyone walks before they run!! Some people ALWAYS walk and run -- google Jeff Galloway and the Galloway Method [Seriously, do it. I was reading on his blog today about a woman who cut 30 minutes off her marathon time -- from 5:15 to 4:38 -- by utilizing a 30s/30s run/walk ratio. 4:38 isn't Kenyan or even Boston-qualifying, but it's not terrible for the average Joe, and certainly nothing to sneeze at. I haven't run a marathon yet, but when I do, I imagine I'd be happy for 4:38, at least for my first one!]

Mom: Barf.

SoSarahSays: Dad's come over to the dark side... You're next. Muahahaha. You've been toeing the line for years with your exercise classes.

Mom: Towing like a tow truck.

lol. :)

Lemonade?

2010-03-26T14:00:00.000+01:00

Piggybacking my last post, I also found this picture on my blackberry. I took this photo at Whole Foods in Tenleytown, DC in February, when I was waiting in an aisle-long line to buy quinoa and soy creamer (necessities!) right before the first great snowstorm. I thought lemonade was just lemons, sugar and water? Apparently sometimes grapes, too. I was surprised at the time, but now that I know you can make ORANGE JUICE from lemons (see previous post), nothing surprises me. Lemon... The most versatile fruit?
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Orangeade

2010-03-26T13:54:00.000+01:00

Anyone have a recipe for orange juice made from lemons?

Snapped in the produce section at the Giant grocery store in Bethesda, MD on Wednesday, March 24, 2010.

I bought a couple of these potentially-hybrid lemons and can assure you that they taste like regular lemons and don't appear to be a food science, taste modification experiment. Confounding.
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Looks like we won't be recycling any time soon...

2010-02-10T20:02:00.002+01:00

WMATA and SNOWPACALYPSE 2

2010-02-06T15:33:00.003+01:00

We're in the middle of Snowpacalypse 2 here in the DC area (to see what I learned during Snowpacalypse 1, go here). I'm already suffering from a bit of cabin fever. It seems to set in quick when you're anticipating it, doesn't it? In a bit, I'm going to eat a hearty coffee and stove top oatmeal breakfast ~~spiked with creatine~~ and go outside to ~~get huge~~ start shoveling. In the mean time, the snow means delays for Metro (and all above-ground stations are closed), but they seem to be taking it in stride:

(click to enlarge)

When you're just too lazy to go inside...

2010-01-18T00:51:00.000+01:00

God, I "love" the concept of walk-up windows... They are like drive thrus... For your feet. For the record, they have one of these in Copenhagen (on Stroeget, next to Illum), so I know this isn't just a lazy American thing. Damnit though, seriously, you are eating Burger King, you could probably use the extra .000001 calorie burn walking inside would give you. It adds up, people.
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Snowpocalypse and being an adult

2009-12-19T18:12:00.003+01:00

Unless you are living under a rock (or on the West Coast, possibly), you know my fellow mid-Atlantic-dwellers and I are currently experiencing a record-breaking December snowstorm, which the Weather Channel has dubbed "a winter wallop." Now, aside from the obvious grumbling that this had to happen on a weekend and couldn't buy us all a few days off work by doing its walloping on, say, a Tuesday, I've learned a few things in the past 12 hours. With the exception of a year and a half I spent being a Viking in Copenhagen, Denmark, I've lived in the mid-Atlantic region (Maryland) since I was nearly 8; the better part of, um, 15 years?! Eeep. Anyway, my point is not to age myself. My point is to illustrate that I should have a basic understanding of what you need before -- and what you need to do after -- a major snowstorm. Here's a list of things I've come up with of basic things responsible adults need to do before a snowstorm.

Things Adults do Before and After Snowstorms

1. Buy salt for sidewalks and walkways.

(I live in a house, not an apartment where they have groundskeepers to "de-snow" for you). I realized we should probably get salt for our walkway around, oh, 9:30 last night, after it had already started snowing. I needed to go to the grocery store anyway, so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal to pick a bag of rock salt for the walk there. Unfortunately, rock salt is either hardware store-exclusive or they were completely sold out of three grocery stores. I'm guessing the latter, considering it was already snowing and meteorologists have been predicting snowpocalypse since Wednesday. More on grocery store madness in a minute.

Anyway, being the resourceful Bob-Villa-cum-McGyver that I am, I picked up a $.52 container of table salt and decided that would work for the walk (we don't have sidewalks in our neighborhood and thus aren't bound under sidewalk clearing laws -- in my parents' neighborhood, they have to be cleared within 12 hours of the end of snowfall). I came home, ripped the spout off the container and "liberally" "sprinkled" the walk. When I woke up this morning and saw over a foot of snow outside my bedroom window, I ran to the front door, anxious to see my salt at work, doing it's chemical-melting-thang on the walk. Um, no. EPIC FAIL #1.

2. Locate your snow shovel. Place it by the front door, ready for action.

Last night, I was explaining my brillant table-salt-on-the-walk idea to my roommate (sounding overly pleased with my "resourcefulness," I'm sure). I distinctly remember saying something along the lines of "No worries if it doesn't work, we have a snow shovel." Well. Thing I've learned number two is that you need to know where your snow shovel is to USE it. Like, if it's sitting out back, leaning against the side of the house, maybe go grab it before there is over a foot of snow on the ground. Now I have no idea where our snow shovel is and the table-salt-on-the-walk brilliant chemical reaction isn't working. EPIC FAIL #2. This will probably become EPIC FAIL #s 3, 4 and 5 when my roommates and I need to "dig" our cars out.

3. Go to the grocery store, stock up on necessities, like bananas.

Wait, bananas? As mentioned above, I did have the foresight above to go to the grocery store (after it had already started snowing) to get some "necessities." "Necessities" for me included soy creamer for my coffee and cottage cheese. Normal people's snow storm "necessities" include things like soup, milk, eggs and bananas. Wait, bananas? Yes. Man, it was crazy. I just wanted two or three bananas to go with my greek yogurt and oatmeal and you'd think that bananas are out of season on the East Coast (haha, wait a second...!). In all seriousness, though, three out of three grocery stores I visited were completely out of bananas. In two of the three, the banana area of the produce section looked like the water aisle at Harris Teeter in Charleston after Hurricane Hugo. There were ripped open banana boxes everywhere and not a banana in sight. When checking out of the second store, I spied one lonesome, already-browning banana right by checkout. I grabbed it. The old woman in line in front of me was like "Wow, where'd you find that banana?" I was pleased to have gotten what was probably the last unclaimed banana in three states. In retrospect, I probably should have offered to give it to her. Oh well.

It's still snowing, so this list will probably grow once it stops. I'm going to gear up and go on a Snow safari to find the snow shovel and, once I do, pretend the excursion was my plan the whole time. Maybe I'll also go visit Mike Seidel, Weather Channel's on-location reporter in Tenleytown (about a mile from me) who just said "oops, I tripped over slush" on the air. Maybe I can audition to be the next Jim Cantore. Where is my favorite meteorologist, anyway?

Stay safe, DC. Don't let your white pets out in the snow. Enjoy your bananas.

“I wake up in the middle of the night and write things that are beautiful” or Does the New York Times hate Orrin Hatch?

2009-12-11T20:03:00.002+01:00

The following was published in the New York Times on December 8, 2009. Apparently Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) is quite the songster and holds a soft spot in his heart for Jews. I've bold italicized the best parts.

December 9, 2009

A Senator’s Gift to the Jews, Nonreturnable

By MARK LEIBOVICH

WASHINGTON — The canon of Hanukkah songs written by Mormon senators from Utah just got a little bigger.

Senator Orrin G. Hatch, a solemn-faced Republican with a soft spot for Jews and a love of Barbra Streisand, has penned a catchy holiday tune, “Eight Days of Hanukkah.”

The video was posted Tuesday night on Tablet, an online magazine of Jewish lifestyle and culture, just in time for Hanukkah.

Known around the Senate as a prolific writer of Christian hymns and patriotic melodies, Mr. Hatch, 75, said this was his first venture into Jewish music. It will not be his last.

“Anything I can do for the Jewish people, I will do,” Mr. Hatch said in an interview before heading to the Senate floor to debate an abortion amendment. “Mormons believe the Jewish people are the chosen people, just like the Old Testament says.”

In short, he loves the Jews. And based on an early sampling of listeners, the feeling could be mutual.

“Watching Orrin Hatch in the studio, I said to myself that nothing this great will ever happen to me again,” said Alana Newhouse, the editor-in-chief of Tablet.

Set against a bouncy synthesizer beat, the song begins:

“Hanukkah, oh Hanukkah,

The festival of light/

In Jerusalem,

The oil burned bright.”

Adding to the project’s only-in-America mishmash is that the song is performed by Rasheeda Azar, a Syrian-American vocalist from Indiana. But Mr. Hatch is the song’s unquestioned prime mover, or macher. He is featured in the video, sitting stoic in the studio, head bobbing slightly, donning earphones and contributing backup vocals.

The song’s contagious refrain goes:

“Eight days of Hanukkah,

Come let’s celebrate.

Eight days of Hanukkah,

Let’s celebrate tonight, Hey!”

At one point, Mr. Hatch unbuttons his white dress shirt to expose the golden mezuzah necklace he wears every day. Mezuzahs also adorn the doorways of his homes in Washington and Utah. Mr. Hatch keeps a Torah in his Senate office.

“Not a real Torah, but sort of a mock Torah,” he said. “I feel sorry I’m not Jewish sometimes.”

The genesis of “Eight Days of Hanukkah” came a decade ago. Mr. Hatch was considering a run for the presidency in the campaign eventually won by George W. Bush (Mr. Hatch wound up writing a song for Mr. Bush’s second inaugural, titled “Heal Our Land”). He was discussing his love of songwriting with the writer Jeffrey Goldberg, a well-known mensch-about-town in Washington with a longtime grievance against “the general lameness of Hanukkah music.” (As a columnist for The Jerusalem Post years earlier, Mr. Goldberg had organized a “write-a-new-song-for-Hanukkah contest” that attracted 200 entries, most of them — in his estimation — “dreck.”)

He asked Mr. Hatch if he would write a Hanukkah song. The senator said he would, but never did.

Mr. Goldberg, who now writes for The Atlantic, mentioned the decade-old promise in his blog last year a few days before Christmas. A day later, Mr. Hatch sent him an apologetic e-mail message that included the first five stanzas of “Eight Days of Hanukkah.”

“I am willing to serve as a Semitic song muse for any United States senator,” Mr. Goldberg said. “God forbid any of the Jewish senators write a Hanukkah song.”

Mr. Hatch enlisted his collaborator, Madeline Stone, a Jewish songwriter from the Upper West Side of Manhattan who specializes in Christian music. “I’m a pretty liberal Democrat,” Ms. Stone said. “But it became more about the music and the friendship for me and Orrin.”

The song was recorded in October at a studio in Manhattan.

Mr. Hatch speaks of “Eight Days of Hanukkah” as a gift to the Jewish people. “This song means more to me than most of the songs I have ever written,” he said. “People need to know the story of Hanukkah. It was a miracle.”

He said his ultimate goal would be for his idol, Ms. Streisand, to perform one of his songs. “It would be good for her and good for me,” Mr. Hatch said, while acknowledging that given her outspoken liberalism, that union might require another miracle.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/09/us/politics/09hanukkah.html?pagewanted=print

You can watch the video of Hatch in the recording studio (complete with taking his muzuzah necklace out of his shirt!) here.

The frosting on top of the cupcake is that Sen. Hatch's Hanukkah song has been A DECADE in the making. The Times published the following article on August 1, 1999. Again, I've bold italicized the best parts:

Love Is All Around

Orrin Hatch is a distinguished U.S. Senator who is running for the Presidency. But what he really likes to do is sing sweet songs of love.

By Jeffrey Goldberg

The New York Times, August 1, 1999
Midway through a conversation about his quixotic bid to be the Republican Presidential nominee, Orrin Hatch, the grim-faced Mormon patriarch who serves as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, asked a question no other United States Senator has ever asked. Or, at the very least, has asked me.

The question: “Have you listened to my love songs?”

I had not, in fact, listened to his love songs. I was familiar with his gospel music—he has a new CD out, “Put Your Arms Around the World,” featuring Jesse Jackson’s daughter Santita—and I have listened to his patriotic songs, including “You Gotta Love This Country.” But I had not yet been exposed to his love songs.

Orrin Hatch, the senior Senator from Utah, is not associated in most minds with romance. Orrin Hatch talking about his love music is sort of like the farmer in “American Gothic” jumping off the painting and saying, “You know, what I’d really like to do is go to an all-night rave.”

Hatch asked me this improbable question as we walked through the Hart Senate Office Building. His press aide had warned me against bringing up Hatch’s budding career as a songwriter, on the grounds that he would never stop talking. The Senator loves talking about his music, so much so that he barely noticed the Secretary of State walking by. “Hi, Madeleine,” he finally said. “Keep up the good work.” Albright looked as if she might have something to say, but Hatch’s mind was elsewhere.

“You know, some of my songs are written just for Barbra,” he told me as we continued walking. Barbra, as in Streisand.

Hatch once wrote a song in honor of Ted Kennedy and his wife, Vicki, called “Souls Along the Way.” “Oh, he loved it,” Hatch said, speaking of Kennedy, his sometime legislative partner. “Everybody loves that song. Everybody in the industry thinks it could be a major hit.”

“We are souls along the way—in my heart you stay/You know my secrets, I have cried your pain,” the song goes.

I asked Hatch if he thought the Republican Party would expel him for writing songs for Ted Kennedy and dreaming of working with Barbra Streisand. “I’m not prejudiced. I love Democrats. One of my favorite Democrats is Gladys Knight.” On an album of inspirational music, Knight sings “Many Different Roads,” a song about Mother Teresa and Lady Diana that Hatch wrote the lyrics for: “A princess and a pauper/Walked the lonely roads of life/In many ways so different/And yet so much alike/Many different roads can lead to glory/Many different lamps can bring the light.”

“The music,” Senator Kennedy told me, “is a side of Senator Hatch that not too many people know about.”

Hatch would like that to change, because this is all you need to know about Orrin Hatch: while he would like to be President—name a Senator who wouldn’t—what he would really like to be is Neil Diamond.

Senator Hatch, who is 65, has written poetry for a long time, but he branched out into music only a few years ago, when a Utah composer, Janice Kapp Perry, asked him one day if he would give lyric writing a go. One thing led to another, and soon “he was sending them in batches of 10 and 15,” Perry said. Their first collaboration was “My God Is Love,” a CD of Christian praise.

“This is a way of getting my feelings out without hurting anybody or irritating anybody,” Hatch told me. “Well, some of the songs might irritate people.”

His music is a little bit country and a little bit rock-and-roll. A very little bit: though he professes to be an eclectic listener—I like some of the rap music”—his music fits comfortably into the easy-listening category. Everything rhymes, more or less, and subtexts are nonexistent. I asked him if he would ever write about darker subjects, like his poverty-stricken childhood (the Senator once worked as a janitor), or about controversies in his public career. But Hatch said he had no plans to set the Anita Hill episode to music. His music is straight uplift. “I wake up in the middle of the night and write things that are beautiful,” he said.

Listening to his Christian music gave me an idea. I have been on a 10-year campaign to encourage the writing of better Hanukkah songs. The current Hanukkah catalogue, Adam Sandler’s songs excepted, is insipid and shopworn. Perhaps, I suggested to Senator Hatch, he could write a Hanukkah song to go along with his vast repertory of Christmas music.

“I’m going to show you something I don’t show everybody,” Hatch responded, and pulled out from under his shirt a small mezuza on a chain.

Hatch cottoned to the idea of a Hanukkah song; some of the themes of Hanukkah, the quest for religious freedom most of all, echo the story of the Mormons. He said he would give it a try and invited me to return to his office later that week, to talk about the Hanukkah song and to—and there’s no other way to put this—kick back and listen to his love jams.

So one weekday morning, when the other dozen or so Republican candidates for President were presumably squeezing donors for money—Hatch is roughly $36 million behind George W. Bush, though he has asked that one million Americans contribute $36 each to his campaign—the Senator sat in his office for an hour and listened to CD’s.

“Do you like Sting?” he asked me as he began playing “Whispers of My Heart,” one of the love songs. Yes, I said. “This is Sting,” he responded.

It is?

“Well, no. Actually it’s a kid from Utah. But he sounds like Sting.”

I had prepared, at Hatch’s request, an outline of themes for his Hanukkah song. I would have suggested the title “Light My Fire,” but Orrin Hatch plays things straight, so I thought better of it. He read the outline carefully and said, “I think we can really do something here.” I recommended getting the song out in advance of the New York primary. But he said he doesn’t mix politics and music.

It is not entirely clear why Hatch is running for President. Unlike the other Republican munchkins, he has stature to lose. He has an impressive legislative record and the chairmanship of a powerful committee. He is running, he says, because he is the best alternative to George W. Bush, and because he could do a good job as President.

But then I put this question to him: If he had a choice between the Presidency and superstardom in the world of popular music, which would he choose? “President,” he said. With all due respect, I didn’t really believe him.

http://www.nytimes.com/1999/08/01/magazine/the-way-we-live-now-8-1-99-encounter-love-is-all-around.html

Orrin Hatch is my new favorite Senator... Mr. Congeniality.

Who's regulating this? OR The existence of Santa and his carbon footprint...

2009-12-07T14:19:00.000+01:00

On my way to work this morning, I noticed my neighbors had tacked this sign up on a telephone pole. Good thing I park on the other side on the street... But, on that note, doesn't the big guy park his sleigh on rooftops? Why does he need a reserved spot on my street? Maybe this is the new way parents ease into telling their kids Santa doesn't exist. This year, it's "kids, Santa has traded his antiquated (albeit low carbon footprint) sleigh for a mini van, which handles better and boasts greater fuel-efficiency than an SUV, the only other commercial class option that could possibly hold all those gifts." (Santa probably eats organic kale and Scottish oatmeal over cookies, too.) Next year, it'll be "kids, Santa has morphed into your mother. Sorry, they're one in the same."
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The sketchiest ATM in the world...

2009-11-21T02:13:00.000+01:00

Spotted at Friendship Heights Metro station (Maryland side entrance under Indique Heights). Yes, it is just a box with air vents with a huge sticker that says ATM on the three visible sides. It's very poorly lit and there is no bank affiliation or anything... Um, yeah, go ahead, that seems legit.
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When it rains...

2009-11-20T02:21:00.000+01:00

I saw these rainboots abandoned in a flower (tree?) bed at 9th and F NW tonight. They were large, so I assume they were men's boots, unless some female criminal stole them from the scene of a crime... Why not a girl borrowing them from her boyfriend? Because if someone borrowed them from someone they cared about, they wouldn't have just ditched them, they would have returned them -- rainboots aren't exactly the same as the throw-away shirt from your last half marathon. So why criminal? Because they were just abandoned when it was raining and they could have been useful? What bothers me about this theory though is that they were positioned the way the were. They were taken off deliberately. They weren't "run" out of in a chase (they would have been one in front of the other). Maybe the person wearing them. Took them off to go into Gordon Bierch (sp?), the restaurant directly in front of the tree bed? But why would you leave rainboots outside when it's still raining? It clearly wasn't to dry them out -- unless the decision was made when it was not raining. And then maybe the owner was in the restaurant and didn't realize the conditions had changed? (Drunk? Impaired by the darkness augmented by artificial light?) But that begs the question of safety... Washington, DC isn't rural Idaho. Stuff gets stolen. Why risk the "safety" (ownership) of your wellies to dry them outside? What would be wrong with the air inside the restaurant? Sure they wouldn't be scented like, um, DC (?!?!?). But... These boots are mystifying. This could be because I admittedly had one (or two) too many chard-cranberries (I know, I'm so gauche it hurts sometimes), but it could be because I naturally like to analyze the life out of everything and I occasionally thought-vomit all over my blog. Wait, who am I kidding? This blog is called 'So, Sarah Says...' It's 100% thought-vomit and random musings. That's the point. I write all this for myself. Anyone who reads this should be interested in hearing about what goes on in this gobbeldy-gook mind of mine. No apologies.

Back to those wellingtons... Maybe the person kicked them off to do run around footloose and fancy-free in the rain. I mean, when YOU think about running around footloose and fancy, don't you first factor in kicking off your shoes? Oh. Well, I do. Someone is dancing around Penn Quarter, boot-less! Why am I on my way home and not searching for them?! I bet my overanalytical self could learn a lot from them.

Oh, here's my Metro stop.

End drunk, bored, Metro blackberry post. (Other people read on the Metro, don't they? I type away like a 14 year old. Sad. At least I'm not texting or, worse, sexting. God.) END.

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My colleague sent me this screen shot in an email

2009-11-06T22:12:00.004+01:00

I was amused. (click to enlarge.)

Notice that the title of the email is "Um, too busy to get my jams done er what?" The window is busy?!

I hate when you have an epic computer fail when you are trying to work... and of course it always happens at the most inopportune times, like when you're under deadline... or when you're in the middle of some intricate calculation or eloquent prose and haven't risked breaking your intense concentration to save in awhile... or when you're browsing Facebook and your boss walks up behind you and your computer freezes and you can't close the window... Wait, what?

Witchcraft and Wizardry

2009-10-31T01:35:00.000+01:00

Snapped this in the window of Bloomindale's in Chevy Chase. It's probably Alexander McQueen.
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Why do Scanvinavians love licorice?

2009-10-26T23:42:00.000+01:00

This is another previously unpublished draft from the archives. It was originally drafted on January 30, 2008. I'm not really sure why I never finished this one. I'm sure I could dredge up at least a half dozen more possibilities to explain why Scandinavians love licorice, but I'm hitting publish as is.

Scandinavians love licorice. As a general rule - the saltier, the better. Living in Denmark, I've talked to many a Dane and a foreigner about this unusual propensity towards salt liquorice. What makes them so fond of it while people in other countries are repulsed by the taste and absolutely despise it? Moreover, why do Scandinavians tend to favor progressively saltier licorice as they get older, moving from mintier, children's varieties to salt-infused adult-only types? One friend, Libby (of Copenhagen Revisited), believes that there may be some kind of tolerance build-up over the years as Scandinavians are culturally encouraged to frequently indulge in liquorice treats. Or, perhaps Scandinavians share a genetic inclination towards liquorice, similar to the way the are genetically inclined towards blue eyes and blonde hair (in comparison to people of other cultures).

I did some quick, Google-aided research on liquorice because I was curious about possible health benefits of frequent liquorice consumption. I wonder if, over time, Scandinavians have taken to eating mass-quantities of liquorice as a kind of inadvertent herbal remedy against ailments that may plague the Northern-dwelling residents to an extent significantly greater than other places in the world.

My findings were as follows:

1. Licorice Derivative May Slow Karposi's Scarcoma - According to the American Cancer Society's website, a "sarcoma is a cancer that develops in connective tissues such as cartilage, bone, fat, muscle, blood vessels, or fibrous tissues (related to tendons or ligaments). Kaposi sarcoma (KS) was named for Dr. Moritz Kaposi who first described it in 1872. For decades KS was considered a rare disease that mostly affected elderly men of Mediterranean or Jewish heritage, organ transplant patients, or young adult African men. This type is called classic Kaposi sarcoma." (For a detailed description of KS symptoms and it's general manifestation, please go here) Already, it seems that as there are not significant populations of any of these typical 'types' for whom KS usually strikes in Scandinavia, preventing against KS does not seem to be a likely reason for Scandinavian propensity towards salt liquorice.

The ACS website continues by stating that in the last 20 years most cases of KS have developed in association with HIV and AIDS, esp. (as these diseases oft tend to be, among homosexual males). This strain is deferentiated and specified as AIDs-related KS. Like the latter, however, I don't believe that AID-related KS is the reason for Scandinavian licorice consumption, as HIV and AIDs are primarily found in homosexual male populations in Europe and percentages of infected persons are seemingly declining (at a rate that is likely not corollary with licorice consumption!)

2. This Study (on a website that admittedly looks largely non-academic and thus, none-too-trustworthy) claims that eating black liquorice may reduce body fat without any side effects. "Our study showed that licorice intake of 3.5 grams a day [roughly 1.4 ounces] reduced body fat up to 4% without any change in blood pressure," says co-author Carlo De Palo, MD, a clinical researcher at the University of Padua. "One explanation is that the strong taste of licorice suppresses the appetite," he adds.

Perhaps Scandinavians eat licorice to stay thin, though a 4% decrease in body fat hardly seems like anything to write home about. Moreso, judging purely phenotypically, I think Scandinavians have a genetic disposition to be relatively thin, so I don't see a need for them to eat licorice to stay thin. Hmmm...

3. Drug Derived from Licorice Improves Memory - A British study found that a drug derived from licorice root improves memory in older men and may protect against age-related cognitive decline. The drug, carbenoxolone, which is usually used in treatment of stomach ulcers, boosted memory and slightly augmented subtle memory decline in healthy older men with type 2 diabetes.

This study is relatively useless to me for a number of reasons. First, the study was extremely small, with only 10 subjects. Second, researchers used word association and verbal tests to evaluate subject's memory, tests in which there is extreme variation in all populations. Furthermore, if the researchers really wanted to test carbenoxolene's usage as a combatant against memory decline or towards memory improvement, it seems they would have needed to run a longitudinal study... not a series of piddly word association tests!

The study goes on to talk about specific compounds, etc., but it does not mention if the chemicals found in carbenoxolene are available with regular consumption of liquorice or if it can only be garnered through a modified derivation process.

4. Treating Latent Herpes with Licorice - This is another dodgy looking site, but claims that findings of a recent study have found that a compound in licorice shows promise for treatment of latent, lingering herpes virus. The compound, glycyrrhizic acid kills cells of the herpes virus that cause... guess what... Kaposi Sarcoma! Glycyrrhizic acid targets key proteins involved in the latency without causing a toxic effect on tissues. Researchers hope that their findings will lead to drugs that can eradicate herpes from the body altogether.

Again, not really sure if this may be why Scandinavians eat so much licorice. Do they have a lot of herpes here?

The Swedish concept of 'lagom', Jante Law, and the fact that Americans just can't escape!

2009-10-26T23:40:00.000+01:00

This post was drafted on September 12, 2008. Twelve days after I moved back to the United States from Denmark. The bottom of the post is italicized, which generally means I didn't write it. I probably intended to use parts of it for commentary, and never got around to it. I'm not sure where I was going with the title of this post... "the fact that Americans just can't escape!" Hmm... I'll have to think about that, it's intriguing. I think I was going somewhere.

A few days ago I discovered Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations show on The Travel Channel. In this particular episode, he went to Sweden. In addition to watching Anthony eat pigs knuckles, try to glass blow his own bowl, visit Lapland to hunt reindeer (where he claims he had previously gotten "flat out lied to about the connection between Lapland and lap dancing"), and sing traditional (non-ABBA!) Swedish songs, I learned about the Swedish concept of 'lagom.' According to my favorite internet resource, Wikipedia (I know, I know!), Lagom is 'a Swedish word with no direct English equivalent, meaning "just the right amount", "enough, sufficient, adequate, just right", "in moderation", "balance," "suitable", "average." But whereas words like "sufficient" and "average suggest some degree of abstinence, scarcity, or failure, lagom carries the connotation of perfection or appropriateness.'

The Wikipedia entry elaborates that "the word "lagom" has no exact translation in English, although similar words exist in some neighboring languages. [...] In a single word, lagom is said to describe the basis of the Swedish national psyche, one of consensus and equality. In recent times Sweden has developed greater tolerance for risk and failure as a result of severe recession in the early 1990s. Nonetheless, it is still widely considered ideal to be modest, avoid extremes, and seek optimal solutions."

Hearing Bourdain talk about about this Swedish concept throughout the episode was interesting because it got me thinking about Scandinavian culture in general and discussions I've had with Danish friends about how the culture and mentality of the United States greatly differs from that which is followed de facto in Denmark. In Denmark (and the rest of Scandinavia, according to Wikipedia), they seem to adhere to a "phenomenon" known as Jante Law. Jante Law is apparently practiced under the different nomenclature of Tall Poppy Syndrome in the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada and New Zealand.

Jante Law, or Janteloven (The Jante Law) as it is called in Danish, is made up of ten variations on the the of homogeneity. "Don't think you're anyone special or that you're better than us."

In the book, those Janters who transgress this unwritten "law" are regarded with suspicion and some hostility, as it goes against communal desire in the town, which is to preserve social stability and uniformity.

Later in his book, Sandemose adds an 11th rule, formulated as a question:

11. You think I don't know anything about you? (Du tror måske ikke jeg ved noget om dig?)

This is the threat of punishment—that other Janters will know something about those who transgress, which can be used to punish them. Emphasis can be either on know or on you, or both.

It has to be said that the general understanding of the law was an essential and fully integrated part of the Danish and Norwegian societies long before it was ever written down. Sandemose, however, explicitly said that he had seen the Jante law in operation in all countries he had been in.

The rules are not only applied outwards; Danes apply the rules equally towards themselves. This means that the rules of the Jante Law become a sort of social stabilizer where one does not wish to be either too high above or too far below others socially and economically.

From the archives...

2009-10-26T23:33:00.000+01:00

Tonight, I was looking for a post on dating, judgment scales and criteria and how being a member of one of the "higher sets" might not really be better. It sounds stupid or complicated, but I've been tumbling the idea around for awhile and really wanted to get something out, "on paper," to help solidify the idea a bit. It's probably something sociologists have considered and tested (observed), but I like to think I come up with new, brilliant ideas. I know I started drafting the post somewhere (probably on my cell phone, because I can't find it anywhere else. Since I delete everything on my phone periodically, it's probably gone forever until I resurrect it... from scratch. Awesome.). Anyway, while I was looking around, I realized that I have 38 unpublished drafts for this blog. I might publish a few. I'm debating not even editing them and publishing them unfinished. We'll see. Stay tuned.

WMATA's New Workout Plan

2009-10-26T01:33:00.000+01:00

On Sunday night, I was riding the red line home when I caught this guy shamelessly throwing it down and pulling it up. He got on at Tenleytown wearing a too-tight City Fitness shirt (if you don't have ripped muscles, guys, you should know that tight shirts "show off" fat and jiggly-bits, too.) and headphones. He found an open area and, as soon as the train started moving, begun doing pull ups on one of the overhead hold-on-so-you-don't-get-trampled-and-subsequently-killed-during-rush-hour bars (seriously, that's what they are called, translated from Italian, patented in Italy where the Metro cars are made). (Of course I did what I'm surprised other people didn't do... I blatantly whipped out my camera phone, snapped a pic and tried to muffle my laughter). I doubt those bars are made to support a 200+ lb guy doing push ups. Plus, didn't you just leave the gym?!? Maybe not. Maybe he just wanted to LOOK like it... And the Metro is really his poor-man's gym...? I got off at the next station, Friendship Heights, so I don't know if he also did shuttle runs or sit ups, but I wouldn't be surprised. I see it, you see it.
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An English take on religion?

2009-10-25T19:44:00.000+01:00

Spotted on a Volvo in the parking lot at Giant in Bethesda, MD. The car also had a Sweden sticker, I don't know if that's because the car is Swedish, the owner, or both.
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Sarah Ave

2009-10-17T19:11:00.000+02:00

I'm sure this would be an awesome place to live. Too bad it's in Linthicum, Maryland, which isn't the nicest/prettiest/most happenin' place in the world...
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Times are tough

2009-10-12T17:35:00.000+02:00

Spotted in today's Washington Post.
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Cheap tricks

2009-09-19T04:51:00.000+02:00

Spotted at a gay sports bar on U Street, a sign in the unisex bathroom that tries to trick you into thinking you are seeing double:

* I know, I think "gay" and "sports" are kind of oxymoronic, or at least not the most obvious pairing, too. Couldn't they just recreate/reopen the [now defuct because, seriously, who wants to eat greasy burgers in the presence of models?] Fashion Cafe? Le sigh.
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Control Center at the Newseum

2009-08-29T21:08:00.000+02:00

The Newseum is touts itself as "one of the most technologically advanced museums in the world." These guys sit in the glass-enclosed control center. Newseum visitors can watch them work as part of the overall experience. As I watched this guy, he was g-chatting. Slacker.
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Layoff Cake

2009-08-29T15:39:00.003+02:00

I was recently put in charge of planning a going away party for a colleague who moved away, Jess. I pride myself on my hostessing skills, so I arranged for music, food, drinks, wine and a fancy cake, which was to be delivered to the office this afternoon.

The cake was delivered around 1:15pm, two hours ahead of schedule, while I was in the middle of a conference call. My colleague, Monica, ran out to get the cake and tip the delivery guy. She was gone for awhile. She came back with a worried look on her face, just as I was finishing my call.

"Okay, don't freak out, I fixed it," she assured me.

"Fixed what?" I asked.

Apparently the cake was delivered and read "We'll miss you, Jeff" instead of "JeSS." To make matters worse, the guy covering reception when the cake was named Jeff, so when he opened the box to peek, he thought he was getting fired. A layoff cake. Here, eat your sorrow.

Monica immediately took the cake to the kitchen to do damage control. She lifted the bottom two swoops of the (luckily cursive) f's off. It looked more Jess-like.

As we were in the kitchen admiring her skills, the CEO and another high-ranking staff member walked in. The CEO peeked over my shoulder and said "That's a beautiful cake! Who's it for?"

"Thanks," I replied, "It's for Jess. We're having a going away party for her at 4... you should come!" (I hadn't previously invited the CEO because I work in a pretty big office and, frankly, I'm nervous about sending an email to the CEO.)

"I'd love to! I'll definitely be there!" the CEO affirmed. "...I could have sworn the cake said Jeff, though...!"

Monica and I stand there stupidly for a good ten seconds before responding, dryly, "It did."

Way to appear competent.

Luckily, the cake was delicious. Jess was sent off with a bang, and Jeff is still happily employed.

False Advertising

2009-08-29T00:29:00.000+02:00

Washington Sports Club, why do you have a Metro Ad with a middle aged man in a wearing a wetsuit, holding a surfboard, accompanied by text that reads "exercising slows signs of aging." Last I checked, you can't surf at WSC. Pretty sure you don't even have pools. Why don't you show someone on a treadmill? You're probably doing a better job tempting people to use potential membership money to buy a beach pass. Just sayin'.

Sorry folks, no picture. Ill work on it.
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Haunted Metro

2009-08-27T04:53:00.000+02:00

Currently on the way home with Mich... Our Metro train (yes, the entire train, not just my car) has ONLY 3 scant emergency lights on. Redline to Shady Grove, next stop HELL.
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CVS takes funny money

2009-08-14T00:06:00.000+02:00

I snapped this photo at self check out at the CVS located at 8th and E Streets NW, Washington, DC. Apparently you can pay with all major credit cards or a twenty-five dollar bill displaying a "Jackoln" (or "Linkson") two-headed presidential monster. Now you know where you can spend the "evidence" of your counterfit experiment that went awry. You know, if you had one of those.

...

2009-07-09T03:50:00.000+02:00

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Avian Luau

2009-07-09T03:34:00.000+02:00

So get this:

I'm lying on a bench in the park outside of Iolani Palace in Honolulu, Hawaii, minding my own business, trying to take a siesta while my little sisters went to seek out a snack and my parents take a 45 minute audio tour of the palace (which I decided I was not interested in). All of the sudden, this Hawaiian family rolls up, like, twenty deep, with a picnic spread that could have fed the Spartan Army. Curious as to why, in this relatively large park, they need to park themselves within ten feet of me, I turn my head, crack open my eyes and sneak a peek. What happened next is astounding. First, before they dig into said nosh-fest, they all stand in a circle, bless themselves with the sign of the cross, hold hands and sing a little religious diddy. It was weird. After that, they started opening all their seven-odd million boxes of food. Innocent enough (my mouth was even watering a bit from the delicious wafting smells), until the whole thing turned into a Hitchcock film. No, not Rear Window; Not Psych. THE BIRDS!!! Birds from all reaches of Oahu swarmed around, including the freakish white pigeons they have here. Ack!! I hate pigeons, and I'm not particularly fond of birds of any kind (my Hell on Earth: St. Mark's Square, Venice, Italy -- google it.). It only gets worse. I felt like I couldn't get away because I didn't have anything (like a Quidditch bludgeon) to beat the brids away with. I sat up and got on guard, glaring at birds near me and staring in shock an awe at this family, who appeared either oblivious or peculiarly apathetic. As I sat and stared, I started to notice weird sights and sounds. Some birds were hopping around, cooing and pluming their feathers. Another was, for lack of better descriptors, rolling in the dirt. Oh, geez. I realized that not only were they swarming in hopes of food, they were engaging in MATING rituals. A regular keg-laden avian frat party on the lawn of Iolani Palace. Eventually the nightmare ended, but I kinda wished I had just sucked it up and went on the dang 45 minute audio tour.
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Text from last night

2009-07-08T20:03:00.001+02:00

This post has been rethought and redacted to protect the innocent... and guilty. Muahaha! :)

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National Lampoon's Hawaiian Vacation

2009-07-05T09:23:00.000+02:00

My family and I are currently spending about two weeks in Hawaii on vacation.

Walking back to our place after the 4th of July Ana Moana fireworks, my mom trips over someone's cane...

Laura (sister): "Mom, did you trip over that guy's cane?"
Suze (mom): "It was an accident! People need to watch where they put them in crowds!"
Jenna (sister): "Mom, he's blind."

The "cane" my mom tripped over was one of those blind people's walking sticks.

I die.

In other news, kinda over Michael Jackson 24/7. Kinda really over it. There was one of those Native American bands (the kind that are inexplicably prevalent in cities all over Europe) and they were playing Thriller on, like, a digeridoo. That's a digeridon't in my book. Ugh.
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I see, you see...

2009-06-12T01:42:00.000+02:00

What's wrong with 'toilet'? This was taken in the women's bathroom in the Cleveland Park Giant grocery store on Wisconsin Avenue in Washington, DC.

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The Coyote Habitat in Your Backyard

2009-05-30T19:50:00.003+02:00

Seriously, coyotes. In Maryland.

I'm getting ahead of myself. As I begin to write this post (on my COMPUTER and NOT, for once, VIA TEXT), it is 1:52pm on Saturday, May 30. This day has already been momentous, as I feel it deserves recognition as probably my most productive Saturday morning in 2009, thus far. (Yes, that's ambition, right there, after that comma.) That's saying a lot [about my personal laziness] when you realize that it's already almost June. That's right, folks. However, I'm unashamed. My Saturdays are usually spent engaging in one of the following:

a) Brunch. I usually consider getting up and showering, "getting cute," and going to brunch quite momentous and praiseworthy in and of itself. I've clearly got an inner fatkid that should STFU sometimes.

b) Sleeping in.

c) Reading a book or a magazine or, if I'm feeling particularly technophile, watching TV or chipping away at my RSS. Sometimes I even get up and put my ipod in the speakers -- Oooh!

Sometimes a, b and c are combined in various ways. To be honest, I'm usually pleased if I'm showered and out of the house or at least thinking about it by 11am.

Today was not one of those days. Yes, I have days that deviate from the norm occasionally, particularly during running seasons when I'll have to drag myself out of bed at, like, 6am to drive somewhere and run more miles/kilometers than necessary for a good cause and a subpar swag bag while simultaneously beating away thoughts of "what the hell was I thinking?!" Running season is getting into swing again, so I'm anticipating more of these soon, but as of now I'm not signed up for any races, so today was not one of "those" days.

Today, I had to go showdown with the Maryland Tree Huggers. Okay, I don't know if that's what they are really called. In fact, I know that's not what they are called. And, on that note, by "showdown," I mean show up with my tail between my legs. Confused? Fine. In plain English: I got a note a few weeks ago saying my car needed to be Vehicle Emissions Tested. The note came complete with a lovely picture of what one can only presume to be Maryland's Chesapeake Bay wetlands, complete with blue heron, which is why I immediately compartmentalized this to be some tree hugging initiative. My check engine light was on at the time of first receipt, so I ignored this note for awhile. (CEL is an automatic fail). Apparently, I ignored it for too long, because I got a note in the mail last week saying that if I don't take my car in to be inspected, the registration would be rescinded by the state. Considering that the registration for my car is under my dad's name (thanks, dad!), I decided I needed to get my butt in there. Buoyed with ambition to do the right thing in the state's eyes, for the environment and all the blue herons and whatnot, I checked the hours for the Emissions test site near me. NOW GET THIS: The test places are only open 8-5 some week days, 8-7 other week days, and 7-1 on Saturdays. Closed Sunday. WTF are people that don't get home from work until 6:30pm most nights supposed to do. Go Saturday, I guess. Well, last Saturday I slept through it. It was a "b" Saturday. This Saturday, determined to save my registration, I woke up early and drove 30 minutes to the freakin' test place. I send my car through and, miracle of miracles, it actually passes. Yay. I think I might have gotten a free pass, though, because they definitely didn't put it on those spinning wheel things... As far as I could see, the guy just looked at it, printed a sheet, and told me I passed. Um, okay. Thanks. It also cost me $30, which included late fees. Dumb. I hope you're happy, herons.

Anyway, I brought some running gear along with me, just in case there was a cool nature-y trail. I was in Derwood, Maryland, which is kind of natural and rustic, so I was kind of planning on there being something cool nearby - a park or something. Luckily, there was! When I was driving to the Emissions site, I saw this paved trail on the side of the road called "Rockville Millennium Trail." After my car passed, I returned and headed out in an arbitrary direction, figuring I'd do an out and back or something to avoid getting lost.

After an indefinite distance of running and listening to tunes, there was a sign on the trail saying 1.5 miles. I figured I was probably 1.5 miles from the trail head, so I decided to go there, turn around and head back. The anticipated 3 miles plus whatever I had already come would probably put me somewhere are 7-8 miles for the run, which would be fine. I trotted off. A mile and a half later I was at some sort of Rockville community center. I walked around looking for a door so I could go in and use the bathroom before I headed back. While walking around, I spied a sign which read "COYOTE HABITAT. Please keep all pets on leashes. If you see a coyote, call [someone]." Um, WTF? A Coyote Habitat? In Rockville, Maryland? Weirdness. I started wondering how fast coyotes can run. I wonder if they are faster or slower than regular pet dogs. I guess somewhere along that train of thought I decided I didn't want one to show up so I could find out, so I headed back down the trail without using the bathroom. I didn't see a coyote, but now I'm curious. Who knows about this place? What other weird animal habitats do we have in Maryland? Strange.

I got back to my car and continued my morning productivity by heading to the liquor store to get some beer in anticipation of a dinner I'm bringing a friend tomorrow night to celebrate their move... Now, I'm back home and blogging. It's only 2:16 now. Today has been shockingly productive. I'm going to hop in the shower and find something else to do so I can continue feeling narcissistically proud.

Until next time...

Ugly Ripe Tomatoes

2009-05-24T17:41:00.000+02:00

Is that the scientific name used for classification?? I'm thinking not. (I think they might actually be called heirloom tomatoes) I imagine it's the name used for displays in suburban supermarkets. It's the name hoi polloi housewives use when they display it as part of a center piece display during their memorial day barbeques. Their friends willl say "that's so strange, I've never seen anything like it!" The hostess will respond, "it's called an 'uglu ripe tomato. Isn't it interesting?! I've never seen anything like it; I just had to buy a few!!" The friends will hem, haw and feign interest for a few more seconds and that will be that.
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MC Hammer Milk

2009-05-21T23:45:00.000+02:00

Stop! Milk time!
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Wine and Silent Bob

2009-05-16T22:37:00.000+02:00

5 people, 8 bottles of Maryland wine (wait, what?), 3 hours. Wine in the Woods!
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Amtrak caters to those who scored high on SAT verbal...

2009-05-07T22:22:00.000+02:00

Egress? Really? At first I was like, 'what? A female egret?' Damn. I'm one of the dumb ones.
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I 'Senz' Disappointment...

2009-04-29T05:24:00.003+02:00

Har, har. Faux-homophonic jokes.

But, seriously, remember when I was all excited about Gerwin Hoogendoon's Senz umbrella? I posted about it here and here. Well, I saw it and tested it (superstition be damned!) this past weekend at Takashimaya in New York City and was, I regrettably report, disappointed! Sure, it's kind of cool that you open it by pulling the handle DOWN, rather than UP, but other than that, not so much. The material felt cheap and holding it just looked weird. It might be cooler if you dress all in black and have an art-deco Aveda haircut. Otherwise, not so much. Just looks dorky, like the other part of your umbrella ripped away. Plus, when it's folded up, it looks like it could easily be mistaken for one of those sad ones you see turned inside out in industrial trashcans after a day of wind and rain.

I've gotta tell you, this is hugely disappointing because the Dutch don't usually let me down. They introduced me to Dutch bicycles (which are different from Danish bikes!), hagelslag, clogs (okay, my first pair of clogs were Sweden's famed Olsen brand, but let's not nitpick), and the Santa with the posse of black men (6-8, unfailing. Dutch Santa rolls deep.) But I've got to pass on the Senz. Too bad. I was really looking forward to looking chic while holding my umbrella in the middle of a tropical storm. :( (side note: If this was a real requirement, I would write Storm Tracker Jim Cantore. I'm sure he has the best trop-sto umbrella in the world.)

Back to the drawing board. I need a new umbrella soon because my cute black one with pink flowers from United Colors is rusting. RUSTING. What on earth? Shouldn't things that are engineered to be used in rain be made with materials that aren't susceptible to water-rust?! At least I have my wellingtons.

Tired. Going to bed. Ciao, ciao.

Good Game, Good Game

2009-04-28T00:46:00.000+02:00

Though you wouldn't know it if you based you opinion soley on the debaucherous behavior of AdMo "hoodlums" on any given Saturday night, we are quite proper here in Washington, D.C. Maybe it's because we are South of the Mason Dixon Line. Anyway, so when ine is riding the Metro during rush hour, it's all very civilized. We don't push or chew gum like cows and we know exactly how many minutes we have to wait for our next train so we don't get unneccesarily restless or annoyed (*ahem* NYC, Italy, other train systems...) When a train arrives, people form a tunnel to let others off before they board. It's all very civilized.

I think we could jazz it up in the afternoons, though. I get this unquenchable urge to stick my hand out, giving disembarking passengers a high five and a "good game" at the end of the work day. Like you used to do when you were a kid on a soccer team. Even the sucky kids got a high five and a "good game," just for playing. It should be the same with work. Like, thanks for coming out and playing today. It would be so fun. We would really be DC, UNITED. Sah-weet. Except, as I was typing this, I sneezed (in my hand) and people gave me dirty looks. Maybe we would have to postpone our rousing daily games of LIFE (board game: also fun) at time when the CDC is issuing infectious disease warnings, like swine.

Okay, enough Jack Handy for the day. My stop is coming. So, Sarah Says GOOD GAME!!!
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Puff Nasty

2009-04-22T23:41:00.000+02:00

This shot was taken on the metro's red line between Gallery Place/Chinatown and Metro Center approx 5:15pm. Yes, it IS someone with a pink shower puff attached to the outside top handle of their rolling suitcase. Um, eew? I certainly understand if you want it to dry/avoid putting a mold-prone wet puff in your suitcase, but is hanging it out to collect germ particles (measles, scabies, rubella, lice, flesh-eating disease--leprosy!, oh my!) on public transportation/the mean streets of DC/in the belly of an airplane really a preferred alternative? Really?!? Another yuck-tastic display of stupidity, brought to you by the Planet Earth, in honor of Earth Day and, obviously, evolution -- when your familial line dies out from deadly disease picked up on that shower puff and passed on by YOU. (Too far?) Ask Darwin. Blech!

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Is this a joke? Am I retarded?

2009-04-22T14:27:00.000+02:00

This is a sign in the Friendship Heights Metro Station in Washington, DC. Apologies for the darkness - my blackberry camera kind of sucks, and metro stations are lit like caves. This sign is one of the only sources of light in the tubular cavern. Seriously, I go down into Dupont and I'm like "Cool, spelunking! Damn, I forgot my headlamp." Anyways, I see this sign every morning on my way to work. It has been baffling me for weeks. I don't get it. Around the photo, it reads "THE OLD TRANSFER: You saved $.90 when you transferred from rail to bus." Then, below that, it says "THE NEW, TWO-WAY TRANSFER: With SmarTrip, you save $.50 when you travel rail to bus, bus to rail." Huh? Last I checked, $.90>$.50. Doesn't the old way to transfer save you more money? Am I missing something completely, blatantly obvious? Is there a subtlety I'm missing? Moreover, on top of your lost $.40, the SmarTrip card costs a one-time fee of $5. WMATA, I don't appreciate your ruse. (Clerks, anyone?) You underestimate the reading and perceptual abilities of Washingtonians (okay, and Marylanders. I'm not ashamed.). We didn't all go to DC Public schools (zing!) and we aren't all in that much of a hurry. Even if we are, the trains on the red line (which serves the aforementioned Friendship Heights station) is usually delayed anyway, forcing us to wait, read, and lapse into an untenable state of morning confusion. Hmpfh.
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Wellingtons!

2009-04-09T04:26:00.000+02:00

Yay, my new Hunter Wellingtons (official boot of the royal family!) have arrived!! They're perfect!! I'm actually hoping for a rainy day so I can puddle jump!! :)
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The WTF Blanket

2009-04-08T04:10:00.002+02:00

I love snuggies (but slanket comes in better colors), but I love parodies more:

Metro Night Ride

2009-04-08T02:26:00.000+02:00

Red line. Dupont to Friendship Heights, 8pm

Saw two things:

1. A man running (futiley) up the down escalator. The UP one was working just fine. Ghetto stairmaster, anyone? Did I mention it was one of those tiny, narrow one person ones?! The people coming down were NOT happy when he did the huff-n-puff-n-run-n-squeeze. Geezus.

2. ZOMG. I just saw a woman that must be at least XXXL wearing a COW PRINT trench coat!! Irony?!?!

Gah, DC!! What's in the water here?!
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Mitchell

2009-04-03T17:07:00.003+02:00

Okay, maybe I'm going to Hell for this, but you'd think that, given the fact that he/she/it died when he/she/it was NINE YEARS OLD, Mitchell's family would have had a better photograph to use in memorial in the Friday, April 3 Washington Post obituary pages.

I'm just sayin'.

Testing, Testing

2009-03-22T16:35:00.002+01:00

I finally updated to the new Blogger template (formerly, I was one of those "I'll figure out this html myself!" geeks), so if you are one of the 1% of people that actually visits blogs and doesn't have them in an aggregate feed, bear with me for the next couple of days (weeks?) while I fiddle.

Anyone have good ideas for a header? I don't really know what kind of (non-copywritten, personal) image would adequately encapsulate and represent a blog about everything and nothing...

p.s. I also linked with my twitter feed, so check me out in more frequent, 140 character bites (bytes?) over there...

Tap Project 2009

2009-03-22T14:01:00.002+01:00

I went to the D.C. kickoff event for the 2009 Tap Project on Friday. World Water Week is this week! Please watch the video and participate. Even if you can't dine out this week (Tap in your city), you can donate on their website. $1 gives a child safe drinking water for 40 days.

Morning Metro Musings: Ad Sense

2009-03-20T13:50:00.000+01:00

You know how Frosted Mini Wheats are presently targeting children with their television commercial spots? I was just thinking that they could target women with an 'oat-couture' campaign, obviously highlighting the similarities between the American pronunciation of the word 'oat' and the French pronunciation of the word 'haute.' They could focus on how the fiber in frosted mini wheats will keep you slim, how the nutrients will keep your skin healthy and glowing and how the bit of frosting on top will make you happy - perhaps in a vein similar to the way adding diamond jewelry to an already-good outfit makes it special. They could have a lady frosted mini wheat (they have an adult male and a child version now) wearing either heels and a pearl necklace or perhaps a dress similar to the dresses in the Chapstick print ad campaigns (but then you wouldn't see that extra-special frosting) and a personality something like the green M&M, but less sultry and maybe more professional and career-oriented.

No idea why I'm thinking about this - I don't remember the last time - have frosted mini wheats.
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Shit, it's that easy.

2009-03-10T23:49:00.000+01:00

I was going to send this to Twitter:

Don't preach in my Metro station, I won't sin in your church.

Because someone was walking around Metro Center station yelling about saving all our rush hour souls and whatnot. I was trying to think about something that "a religious" [person] would think as equally offensive (and, dare I say ridiculous?!) as an agnostic like me was thinking of his transit tirade. 'Sin, how obvious,' I thought. But then I realised that, no, his behaviour was [presumably] entirely conscious and unavoidable, whereas the tiniest, little white sin is often not - at least for me. I mean, given that I was of sound mind, I could go to a church and obviously avoid the "biggies" like committing adultery or killing a priest. But what about those little, white sin-thoughts, like, "oh, I can't believe she decided to wear those fug-tastic shoes to church?! God can't possibly be THAT forgiving!" As snarky as it is, those kinds of little thoughts flit through my head as lightning speed. I can't like, consciously not have them. That's like trying to tell a skeptic not to imaging the pink elephant in the room. I would rarely say them out loud (okay, I'm modifying that statement to end with "in church"). But, as far as I know, super-religious people would find thoughts like that sinful. You think something snarky like that in church? Boom - lightning bolt, sinner!

So, weird Metro evangelist, preach away. No ones perfect, and I could never please you either.

Btw: I had food poisoning last night and now I think I have a fever, which may explain the craziness of this post. I'm ailing. No, it can't be cured by cowbell. Too bad.
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BONUS! A bit more on the Senz:

2009-03-10T04:37:00.005+01:00

... watch the cute Dutch umbrella designer with braces and too many vowels in his name (God, I LOVE Dutch), Gerwin Hoogendoorn, do the Dutch version of Jackass by testing various umbrellas, including the award-winning Senz paraplu while zipping around a race track in an Audi convertible.

Click "speel video" to begin. Hover your mouse over to skip past the explanation (iin Duutch) and see the Audi action. At the very end you get to see an umbrella cemetery.

Note: this video may not display in an aggregate feed, so here is a link: http://www.abnamro.tv/nl/home.html?mcid=27&mid=63125

You can stand under my um-buh-rella

2009-03-10T04:24:00.002+01:00

... Or, not. Sorry, there is only room for me.

Dutch-designed (by students!) Senz umbrella. Can withstand winds up to 70 miles per hour. Bring it on, tropical storms.

WANT.

Friday morning

2009-03-06T14:20:00.000+01:00

Standing on the metro platform now... Waiting...

Its been so long since I've travelled domestically that I had a momentary freak out this morning on my way to the metro because I thought I'd forgotten my passport.

I've got to run to CVS sometime today to get some mini shampoo and conditioner, because I'm not sure if Duane Reed, or whatever that tri-state chain is called, will be open when I get there. This sparked an interesting conversation with my roommate last night. Okay, not interesting at the time, but I was thinking about it this morning. She called the mini products "sample sized." I call them "travel size." Maybe this is a dialect difference in bring from different parts of the country... But, even so, I think I must be right. I mean, who would want to sample Garnier or Pantene Pro-V? Its like, you know they'll do the job, but its not like you're sampling to see if you want to buy the entire product. A small-sized Kerastase or Redken, on the other hand, would be considered 'sample-sized' because the full size products are costly so, in the vein of frugality, it is worth it to try-before-you-buy to make sure you like it.

Okay, this discussion if way too Noam Chomsky-ish for 8am. Have a happy Friday!

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Blog neglect

2009-03-06T00:41:00.000+01:00

I've been neglecting SSS, jumping on board the microblogging bandwagon at Twitter (profile link to follow... On BB now...) Did you miss me? ;)

A few things...
1. On metro now... There is a guy with one eye of dark lashes, one eye of white. Not make-up. Can you be half albino? Maybe he has the same genetic disorder as Kate Bosworth.

2. Also metro related... There are two tween girls, like, pole dancing... Swear. 6:30 thursday evening. Wtf?

3. Made a new friend at L'Occitane, Lawrence. He gave me free stuff and turned me on to their amber perfume. Said he hopes I make it home okay. Must be because I smell so fiercely awesome. Buying it at the friends and family next week, then going next door to CoCo Sala for a TDF CoCojito.

4. Tunes of the moment- Amon Tobin, thanks Matt! And the new LP3 Ratatat album. And Santogold.

5. NYC this weekend! Lincoln center jazz, brunches, fashion photography, and overall bourgieness with NYC Interior Designer. Excited! Bringing champy. (Stealing Olivia Palermo's ling')

Over and out. Ill try to be around more!
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Patent leather... Shiny, waterproof, deathproof.

2009-02-18T00:20:00.000+01:00

I just almost died. I was crossing the street in FAF-town on my way home and this car almost hit me. Being a roadrager (peds can be too!) I yelled "hey!" And the guy was like "well you're wearing all black!" And then, instead of pointing out the fact that I'm wearing a CAMEL coat OR that I'm in the CROSSWALK, I say (idiotically) "I'm wearing shiny patent leather shoes and your headlights are on, pay attention, asshole!!"

Totes hate myself. I'm dying my hair brown tonight.
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Tuesddendum

2009-02-18T00:01:00.000+01:00

4. It's just the red line... There is no "cruise" involved... Which is why it's baffling why my metro "captain" honked the train horn three times in succession when we left two stations on the line. I wasn't aware Dupont and Van Ness were ports of call. All aboard the red line.
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Random Tuesdalies

2009-02-17T23:55:00.000+01:00

1. I fucking hate Zips Drycleaners. The ghetto-ass non-folded-over-tip hanger that they returned my clothes on tripped me and made me get a two inch scratch in my brand new, butter-soft leather Delman flats this morning. Nevermind the fact that I left it on my floor.

2. Rasika's palat chaak is delicious. Actually, their entire $20.09 three-course restaurant week menu selection is. I recommend the salmon(s). Yes, you get two.

3. Girl on metro has scandi-white-blonde hair with hot pink streaks. I wonder if you had a skilled enough stylist could you get thin highlights of a rainbow of colors and have your hair look brown from at least three feet away. Like fingerpaints.

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Alpine highs and confusion

2009-02-13T00:50:00.000+01:00

Random morning-on-the-metro thought: What does it mean when people say "the higher you climb, the farther you'll fall?" Or is it "the FASTER you climb, the harder you'll fall?" (Which, now that I've typed it, makes absolutely no sense considering the laws of physics, right?) Anyway, I know it's metaphoric, but are we supposed to take that to mean "don't climb?" "Climb carefully? Leaving the metaphorical world for a second, I'm sure any seasoned climber will tell you that climbing, no matter how "easy" or familiar, ALWAYS has risks. Something could always go wrong. Does this mean a climber shouldn't climb? No. It means be careful. Logically, I think we can apply deductions about real climbing to the metaphor and realise what a stupid thing it is to say. It's like something boring, ugly, non-ambitious people say out of jealousy over people who are willing to take a gamble. Where's the fun in playing it safe?

I wish I was Rev Run sitting in a bubble bath right now instead of on a nasty orange pleather upholstered metro seat.
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'Grand' is a puzzling qualifier...

2009-02-04T04:13:00.004+01:00

Sometimes I get funny commentary on funny things from funny friends. Here are a few e-conversational notes about Denny's "Free Grand Slams For Everyone!" (from 6am-2pm today, as advertised during the Super Bowl)...

NYC Interior Designer:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/03/dennys.grand.slam/index.html

My favorite line:

"You couldn't beat it. I mean it was a beautiful, beautiful breakfast. It was fit for a queen or a king," diner Annah Shoffner told CNN affiliate WNCN-TV in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Which leads me to another thought? Is anyone in this country employed anymore? (What are they doing on a Tuesday morning at a Denny's?)

So, Sarah Says:
You saw my facebook status the other day, right? [Sarah thinks it is so ghetto that the Denny's website is crashing over free grand slams. ] God, you're right, NYC Interior Designer; America is straight hood sometimes.

NYC Interior Designer:
Yes, which is why I sent you that link. It really is ridiculous. How could someone even come near implying that a Denny's Grand Slam is a meal fit for royalty? ...Then the news actually repeats/reports that! Ridiculous.

So, Sarah Says:
I know, and it's not the Bumf**k Courier either. It's CNN.

'Bourbs:
PEOPLE!!!! This is funny.

Also, I just got back from taking the GRE and I KILLED IT!!! Straight up son. And no, I am unemployed and would not be caught dead at a Denny's...ever.

Gross!

Pige ven:
Yay, congrats bourbs!

And NYC Interior Decorator, perhaps all these hardworking individuals went in for breakfast BEFORE work -- it said they started at 6 am. Or they are like the student who "identified himself as DeShawn" (does that mean the reporter didn't believe him?) and are going for breakfast before class.

So, Sarah Says:
What really kills me is that all this fraternizing with the hoi polloi was for a not-even-important-enough-to-be-on-the-online-menu Grand Slam. They could have upped the ante and at least made it a Moons Over My Hammy (Ham and scrambled egg sandwich with Swiss and American cheese on grilled sourdough. Served with choice of hash browns or grits) or perhaps one of the "grander" Slams, like the Lumberjack Slam or the All-American Slam [insert cheering crowd sound here].

Tacky as a bride in black

2009-01-27T03:27:00.002+01:00

True story: The Caylee Marie Anthony tribute do ll
Amy L. Edwards |Orlando Sentinel Staff Writer

Showbiz Promotions' Caylee inspired doll. (SHOWBIZ PROMOTIONS / January 26, 2009)

A Jacksonville promotions company plans to sell a doll as a tribute to slain toddler Caylee Marie Anthony.

The Inspirational Caylee Sunshine Doll will go on sale Tuesday for $29.99.

The blonde-haired, 18-inch doll wears jeans and a T-shirt depicting a sun and the phrase: "CAYLEE SUNSHINE." The song "You Are My Sunshine" plays when her belly button is pushed.

Jaime Salcedo, president of Showbiz Promotions, said he is not selling a doll that looks exactly like Caylee because it would be too morbid and difficult for the public.

Instead, he said, they want to honor and respect Caylee's life by bringing awareness to her case.

"We want it to be a tribute," he said.

Salcedo said this is the first product his promotions company will sell that is inspired by the victim of a crime.

Salcedo said he plans to donate a portion of the proceeds to charity -- though he does not have an organization lined up yet.

Salcedo said he's waiting to hear back from several organizations, including the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. He is considering donating $3 for every doll sold.

Asked about whether it's appropriate for his company profit on Caylee's death, Salcedo said he is anticipating critics.

"I think that that is going to come up," he said.

Salcedo said the public does not understand what it costs to make the doll, ship it, import it, and his company's expenses.

TOO SOON?!?!
Gross. I don't understand why someone would want to buy a doll in the likeness of a murdered child. Will she come with tape and a heart-shaped sticker? Okay, okay, way too soon. But seriously, yeah right $3/doll is going to go to charity. That thing is going to be selling for $4.99 on the Toys 'R' Us clearance racks before the ides of March.

No shirt, no shoes, no bike lanes? No problem.

2009-01-20T06:14:00.002+01:00

Since moving back across the pond from Denmark and leaving my beloved 'cykel' in the care of viking family, the Scandinavian in me has been aching to get back on a bike. I dream about blowing past the Friendship Heights Metro Station in the mornings, breezing down (up?) Wisconsin Avenue, jetting through Georgetown, and arriving at work astride a glamourous British racing green colored old Raleigh with a soft, tobacco colored Brooks saddle and maybe matching leather-wrapped handle bars, too. Did I mention I'd do all this in high heels? Emphasis on the word high. I don't do 'mid-heels.'

As I believe I've mentioned before, this pipe dream is unfortunately subject to a few glaring problems. The first is that I don't actually own the dream bike (yet.). The second is that I'm not sure how to bike in a pencil skirt and, because my office frowns on commuter shoes, there is little doubt in my mind that spandex/sweats/anything more bike appropriate would absolutely not be tolerated under any circumstances, even if I went straight to the restroom to change, did not pass go, did not collect $200 on my way in. The third problem, which I am delighted to announce is close to solved, is that bike lanes in D.C., while getting better, are sparse at best. According to Google maps' quickest route from my home to my office near Chinatown, I'd have to potentially go around not one, but TWO, traffic circles. All during rush hour traffic. With Virginia drivers and, worse, drivers from non D.C. border states. Twice a day. Yeep.

Enter: The Light Lane or, as I like to call it, the "Fuck you, I win! lane." As it claims, I will take safety into my own hands... with James Bond-style lasers shooting off of the back of my bike. Motorists be wary. I can't wait to see if this is actually released for public sale and what the price tag would be.

The Wizard of LSAT

2009-01-16T06:18:00.004+01:00

Soooo, tonight I went to this practice LSAT class thing. It was pretty uneventful. You know, some kids were really dumb and couldn't get the most basic of questions (God, what don't you get about the fact that Leopold can only work session three?! It's outlined in the effin' constraints of the game!!). Other kids were so obviously cut from the "front row, nod, laugh at dumb jokes and kiss the prof's ass cloth" it hurt. Others, like yours truly, were just kind of assholes. I mean, I'm all about the LSAT (*cough cough*), but this particular score-upping company has this "summer intensive" program where you go to Boston University for six weeks and do ALL LSAT, ALL THE TIME. Except when you have "social events" with the kids that are there for the hardcore MCAT summer intensive program. SIX WEEKS. When the instructor was talking about this [for. some. reason.] I couldn't stop laughing. He glared at me and was like "I'm sure some of us can think of better things to do over the summer..." I'm blonde so I got in Elle-Woods outraged mode for like three seconds (in mah mind!) until I realized that, um, yeah, not an insult because I can think of lots better ways to spend THE ENTIRETY OF EVERY DAY FOR SIX WEEKS OVER THE SUMMER. Like, going to the beach and getting a tan. Or hiring a Coppola to film my law school admissions video while claiming I use legal terms in every day language... "I object!"

Did I mention this whole shindig costs $8000 PLUS $3000 room and board. I better be guaranteed a 180 for that kind of pocket change. I'd rather spend my $11k on a luxury vacation and call it a summer, but I guess if you get a 180, fast track it at Yale, and start earning the mucho dinero you can take lots of lux vacays. I guess it's a payoff.

Okay, okay, tangent. What's new?

I'm getting ahead of myself. That was actually my second asshole move of the evening. My first asshole move was when the LSAT guy was talking about test scores. I don't know how much you, dear readers, know about the LSAT, so I will explain using a method similar to the LSAT guy's:

"The LSAT is a standardized test scored on a bell curve. The highest score you can get is 180. The lowest you can get is 120." (Why standardized tests always give you points for signing your name is completely beyond me. Like, seriously, it's as bad as vanity sizing. Why can't they just make the lowest score zero so when you EPIC FAIL it feels like the big, fat 'you suck hard' that it is. You're also a size 10, not a 6.)
"Now, let's call this area up here past the 80th percentile 'Oz'."
All of us in the class nod.
"Now, what would we call the area around the 50th percentile?"
We all stare at him blankly.
"Kansas! Now, Kansas is a good place to live, but it's not Oz."
We're all, like, open mouthed in bafflement of this weird LSAT score/Wizard of Oz analogy.
"Now, what would we call this area on the left side of the bell curve, down at the bottom, way below the 50th percentile."
No one answers, so I volunteer "Hell."
Everyone laughs. The presenter guy looks uncomfortable for a second. He quickly recovers.
"Actually, I was thinking 'Munchkin Land'."
Class: [...]
Because Munchkin Land is bad??! Munchkin land is where trees are made of candy and everyone lives in gingerbread houses, where Glinda the beautiful good witch is. Sure, everyone is a weird dwarf/short person/midget/whateverthehellisPCthesedays, but it still seems like a pretty good place if you can avoid getting a house dropped on you. Way better than Kansas, anyway. IMHO. I'd rather be in Munchkin Land than in Hell. Munchkin Land is probably one of the worst comparisons you could make. I can imagine way worst places. He could have made, like, Denmark (happiest place on Earth) the right side of the bell curve, America the middle (or maybe Canada), and the Middle East (the war torn parts) the left tail. MUNCHKINLAND?! God, can you imagine getting, like, a 135 on the LSATS? You can? Sucks, right? Now can you imagine slitting your wrists and killing yourself over your lost future that is so dark you have to wear nightvision goggles to see?? (This is the flipside from your future being so bright you have to wear sunglasses). I bet you can imagine slitting your wrists and killing yourself in Hell. Ladies and gentlemen, may I have a big Jack Handy-style "that's my point" ?!

###

end of weird late night rant.

USC Gould School of Law thinks Washington, D.C. is:

2009-01-13T05:29:00.006+01:00

A) A state
B) Delaware
C) All of the Above

Behold:

Image scanned by me, Sarah, from page 33 of the 2009 USC Law School Catalog. Note how, in the part I circled in red, they marrooned-in Delaware and labeled it D.C.

D.C. already has Marylanders and Virginians to contend with. I'm sure Delaware doppelgangers are the last thing they want. But if Delaware wants some of D.C.'s inauguration crowds, I'm sure they can have them, gladly.

BARACKALYPSE: Munch on the Metro

2009-01-10T04:56:00.003+01:00

You know the Metro on inauguration day is still going to be a complete shit show, blow-up Edvard Munch Scream dolls or not.

Do WMATA employees make these videos while on drugs? (Yes, they make special instruction videos for every big event in D.C.) My favorite is the part where The Scream gets squished in the Metro doors, falls to the ground in slow-mo, and they pan down to it and hold the frame for, like, ten seconds too long. I just have to point out, though, that their comment about the doors not popping open like elevator doors seems like a ruse to strike fear into tourists and encourage them not to overcrowed the trains. I know those suckers pop open if they hit someone because, WITHOUT FAIL, at at least one stop every morning during my commute (red line from Friendship Heights to Chinatown/Gallery Place) the doors will open and shut like five goddamn times while saying *ding, ding, ding* "Please step back. Doors closing"... (doors try to close, open again) *ding, ding, ding* "Please step back. Doors closing"... repeat, repeat, repeat ad infinitum BECAUSE SOME ASSHOLES SQUEEZE THEIR FAT ASSES ON AT FARRAGUT NORTH BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO FUCKING LAZY TO WALK TO METRO CENTER SO THE DOORS CAN'T CLOSE. Please. You really think Metro would make it so the doors don't pop open? That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Barbie vs. Black

2009-01-05T02:48:00.002+01:00

"I hate it how when I wear black nail polish I look all goth and emo and when you wear it it's like 'Hey! I'm wearing black nail polish!'" - Michele, on why I should always wear hot Barbie pink nail polish (like Essie's Exposure, pictured left) rather than dark black, reds, and navies (like my current, left-over-from-NYE color, OPI's Midnight in Moscow).

Being Blair on NYE

2009-01-02T03:38:00.003+01:00

I just have to get something out that I've been pondering today...

If you're on the Metro on New Years Eve and you're wearing a black satin headband with feathers and a guy comes up to you and says "I'm sorry I've been staring at you, but I have to tell you, I really like your headband," is he:

A) Gay? He didn't have that flamboyant gayness about him, but do straight guys really notice and even more curiously LIKE dazzling bedecked headbands?

B) Hitting on me? If so, a headband is a bold thing to pick to compliment. Why not "I like your... (hmm, well, let's see, I was wearing my peacoat, so all that was visible were my dark trouser jeans, cute patent leather ruffled t-straps that were unfortunately mostly covered by said trouser jeans, and gloves - carrying a Trader Joe's bag overflowing with chips, dip, and Tanqueray. Oh, I had my black leather and suede with gold embellishment clutch that I got from that hidden-away thrift store at the train station in Prague!) bag." Is complimenting a girl on her bag in an attempt to hit on her more gay sounding then saying you like a headband? Perhaps because most girls carry bags. A normal straight guy probably wouldn't notice one bag from another as being anything more than a bag. Saying you like a girl's particular bag is, possibly, in some ways saying that you notice that most girls carry bags, notice the details of these bags, and that her bag of the day is comparatively better. Yeah, that's kinda stereotypically gay, non? Headbands, on the other hand, are not worn by everyone. Black satin headbands with feathers that can't help but stand out on someone with long, blonde hair, definitely not. But then, we are back where we started.

I overanalyze. I love it. Big things are coming in 2009 that may be putting my overanalysis to excellent use... stay tuned!

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-01T20:59:00.003+01:00

New Year's Fireworks Over Annapolis, Maryland

Welcome, 2009!!

Wallowing in Self-Pity

2008-12-28T06:13:00.002+01:00

The Bad News: I've been sick with what can only be described (via availability heuristics pertaining to sickness which I have been working on for nearly 24 years cross-referenced with my favorite tool for everything from diagnosing diabetes to determining the most handy, no-doctors-note-needed way to call out of work for two days (food poisoning): WedMD) as a rhinovirus for the better part of the last three days.

The Good News: I'm at my parents house which is nice because, rather than loafing around in solitary, self-loathing agony in my house while my roommates trek off to work each day, leaving me alone for hours and hours each day without a medphone, fully aware of the possibility that I might fall asleep, choke on post-nasal drip and DIE while STILL feeling slightly yet embarrassingly embittered that I'm sick and don't have to go to work [for fear of contaminating the whole friggen' office!] and they still do. (You know it's like this. God forbid I ask them to bring me home some 'quiltini ingredients. Ignore the fact that I am one sniff, gasp, and degree away from my death bed.) Anyways, yeah, at my parents. It's nice because they not only let me lie on the couch all day watching trash television; they not only make me warm food; they also bring me Theraflu and other assorted meds without a pitiful, whispered, tears-welling up in my eyes request.

So, it's been getting better, I think. I've caught up on Anderson Cooper's favorite show, The Real Houswives of Atlanta, read a book, and watched Oprah two days in a row, which is completely unprecedented for me. I've also made a few realizations:

1. Tylenol Day/Night Multi-Symptom Cold Caplets with COOLBURST = WTF!? Coolburst is great for day time, but at night it gives me a completely unappreciated burst of coolness just as I'm trying to go to sleep. Stupid. Maybe you should make it have the "warmburst" that the warming Tylenol stuff presumably has.

2. Theraflu = awesome.

3. Zicam Nasal Spray Gel = weird as hell. It is so, so weird to shoot stuff up your nose. Is this how it would feel to do cocaine? You know, if it were in, like, gel form?

4. Taking mass quantities of cold medication gives you really freaky dreams.

5. I know I'm really sick because I tried to go to the mall today, lasted only about an hour, and had to go home because I felt sick and tired. I didn't buy a thing or even exchange the item I went to exchange.

6. My teeth hurt. Like, around my gums. I haven't had a cold in a really long time. Is this normal?

I'm dying. I hate this ENT sickness crap. Sucks. On the flip side, I've had such a lack of appetite that I've probably slept off all my Christmas dinner calories and then some. "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight!" (The Devil Wears Prada movie reference.) Isn't it sick that most women probably welcome the occasional illness to lose a few?

I'm off to rest. I hope you're all healthier then I am! :)

The Cognitive Enhancing Drug Debate

2008-12-28T05:51:00.002+01:00

A friend drew my attention to these two articles. I think they are interesting enough to re-post.

Towards responsible use of cognitive-enhancing drugs by the healthy
Henry Greely, Barbara Sahakian, John Harris, Ronald C. Kessler, Michael Gazzaniga, Philip Campbell & Martha J. Farah

Society must respond to the growing demand for cognitive enhancement. That response must start by rejecting the idea that 'enhancement' is a dirty word, argue Henry Greely and colleagues.

Today, on university campuses around the world, students are striking deals to buy and sell prescription drugs such as Adderall and Ritalin — not to get high, but to get higher grades, to provide an edge over their fellow students or to increase in some measurable way their capacity for learning. These transactions are crimes in the United States, punishable by prison.

Many people see such penalties as appropriate, and consider the use of such drugs to be cheating, unnatural or dangerous. Yet one survey estimated that almost 7% of students in US universities have used prescription stimulants in this way, and that on some campuses, up to 25% of students had used them in the past year. These students are early adopters of a trend that is likely to grow, and indications suggest that they're not alone.

In this article, we propose actions that will help society accept the benefits of enhancement, given appropriate research and evolved regulation. Prescription drugs are regulated as such not for their enhancing properties but primarily for considerations of safety and potential abuse. Still, cognitive enhancement has much to offer individuals and society, and a proper societal response will involve making enhancements available while managing their risks.

Paths to enhancement

Many of the medications used to treat psychiatric and neurological conditions also improve the performance of the healthy. The drugs most commonly used for cognitive enhancement at present are stimulants, namely Ritalin (methyphenidate) and Adderall (mixed amphetamine salts), and are prescribed mainly for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Because of their effects on the catecholamine system, these drugs increase executive functions in patients and most healthy normal people, improving their abilities to focus their attention, manipulate information in working memory and flexibly control their responses3. These drugs are widely used therapeutically. With rates of ADHD in the range of 4–7% among US college students using DSM criteria4, and stimulant medication the standard therapy, there are plenty of these drugs on campus to divert to enhancement use.

A newer drug, modafinil (Provigil), has also shown enhancement potential. Modafinil is approved for the treatment of fatigue caused by narcolepsy, sleep apnoea and shift-work sleep disorder. It is currently prescribed off label for a wide range of neuropsychiatric and other medical conditions involving fatigue as well as for healthy people who need to stay alert and awake when sleep deprived, such as physicians on night call. In addition, laboratory studies have shown that modafinil enhances aspects of executive function in rested healthy adults, particularly inhibitory control. Unlike Adderall and Ritalin, however, modafinil prescriptions are not common, and the drug is consequently rare on the college black market. But anecdotal evidence and a readers' survey both suggest that adults sometimes obtain modafinil from their physicians or online for enhancement purposes.

A modest degree of memory enhancement is possible with the ADHD medications just mentioned as well as with medications developed for the treatment of Alzheimer's disease such as Aricept (donepezil), which raise levels of acetylcholine in the brain. Several other compounds with different pharmacological actions are in early clinical trials, having shown positive effects on memory in healthy research subjects. It is too early to know whether any of these new drugs will be proven safe and effective, but if one is it will surely be sought by healthy middle-aged and elderly people contending with normal age-related memory decline, as well as by people of all ages preparing for academic or licensure examinations.

Favouring innovation

Human ingenuity has given us means of enhancing our brains through inventions such as written language, printing and the Internet. Most authors of this Commentary are teachers and strive to enhance the minds of their students, both by adding substantive information and by showing them new and better ways to process that information. And we are all aware of the abilities to enhance our brains with adequate exercise, nutrition and sleep. The drugs just reviewed, along with newer technologies such as brain stimulation and prosthetic brain chips, should be viewed in the same general category as education, good health habits, and information technology — ways that our uniquely innovative species tries to improve itself.

Of course, no two enhancements are equivalent in every way, and some of the differences have moral relevance. For example, the benefits of education require some effort at self-improvement whereas the benefits of sleep do not. Enhancing by nutrition involves changing what we ingest and is therefore invasive in a way that reading is not. The opportunity to benefit from Internet access is less equitably distributed than the opportunity to benefit from exercise. Cognitive-enhancing drugs require relatively little effort, are invasive and for the time being are not equitably distributed, but none of these provides reasonable grounds for prohibition. Drugs may seem distinctive among enhancements in that they bring about their effects by altering brain function, but in reality so does any intervention that enhances cognition. Recent research has identified beneficial neural changes engendered by exercise, nutrition and sleep, as well as instruction and reading. In short, cognitive-enhancing drugs seem morally equivalent to other, more familiar, enhancements.

Many people have doubts about the moral status of enhancement drugs for reasons ranging from the pragmatic to the philosophical, including concerns about short-circuiting personal agency and undermining the value of human effort. Kass, for example, has written of the subtle but, in his view, important differences between human enhancement through biotechnology and through more traditional means. Such arguments have been persuasively rejected. Three arguments against the use of cognitive enhancement by the healthy quickly bubble to the surface in most discussions: that it is cheating, that it is unnatural and that it amounts to drug abuse.

In the context of sports, pharmacological performance enhancement is indeed cheating. But, of course, it is cheating because it is against the rules. Any good set of rules would need to distinguish today's allowed cognitive enhancements, from private tutors to double espressos, from the newer methods, if they are to be banned.

As for an appeal to the 'natural', the lives of almost all living humans are deeply unnatural; our homes, our clothes and our food — to say nothing of the medical care we enjoy — bear little relation to our species' 'natural' state. Given the many cognitive-enhancing tools we accept already, from writing to laptop computers, why draw the line here and say, thus far but no further?

As for enhancers' status as drugs, drug abuse is a major social ill, and both medicinal and recreational drugs are regulated because of possible harms to the individual and society. But drugs are regulated on a scale that subjectively judges the potential for harm from the very dangerous (heroin) to the relatively harmless (caffeine). Given such regulation, the mere fact that cognitive enhancers are drugs is no reason to outlaw them.

Based on our considerations, we call for a presumption that mentally competent adults should be able to engage in cognitive enhancement using drugs.

Substantive concerns and policy goals

All technologies have risks as well as benefits. Although we reject the arguments against enhancement just reviewed, we recognize at least three substantive ethical concerns.

The first concern is safety. Cognitive enhancements affect the most complex and important human organ, and the risk of unintended side effects is therefore both high and consequential. Although regulations governing medicinal drugs ensure that they are safe and effective for their therapeutic indications, there is no equivalent vetting for unregulated 'off label' uses, including enhancement uses. Furthermore, acceptable safety in this context depends on the potential benefit. For example, a drug that restored good cognitive functioning to people with severe dementia but caused serious adverse medical events might be deemed safe enough to prescribe, but these risks would be unacceptable for healthy individuals seeking enhancement.

Enhancement in children raises additional issues related to the long-term effects on the developing brain. Moreover, the possibility of raising cognitive abilities beyond their species-typical upper bound may engender new classes of side effects. Persistence of unwanted recollections, for example, has clearly negative effects on the psyche.

An evidence-based approach is required to evaluate the risks and benefits of cognitive enhancement. At a minimum, an adequate policy should include mechanisms for the assessment of both risks and benefits for enhancement uses of drugs and devices, with special attention to long-term effects on development and to the possibility of new types of side effects unique to enhancement. But such considerations should not lead to an insistence on higher thresholds than those applied to medications.

We call for an evidence-based approach to the evaluation of the risks and benefits of cognitive enhancement.

The second concern is freedom, specifically freedom from coercion to enhance. Forcible medication is generally reserved for rare cases in which individuals are deemed threats to themselves or others. In contrast, cognitive enhancement in the form of education is required for almost all children at some substantial cost to their liberty, and employers are generally free to require employees to have certain educational credentials or to obtain them. Should schools and employers be allowed to require pharmaceutical enhancement as well? And if we answer 'no' to this question, could coercion occur indirectly, by the need to compete with enhanced classmates and colleagues?

Questions of coercion and autonomy are particularly acute for military personnel and for children. Soldiers in the United States and elsewhere have long been offered stimulant medications including amphetamine and modafinil to enhance alertness, and in the United States are legally required to take medications if ordered to for the sake of their military performance. For similar reasons, namely the safety of the individual in question and others who depend on that individual in dangerous situations, one could imagine other occupations for which enhancement might be justifiably required. A hypothetical example is an extremely safe drug that enabled surgeons to save more patients. Would it be wrong to require this drug for risky operations?

Appropriate policy should prohibit coercion except in specific circumstances for specific occupations, justified by substantial gains in safety. It should also discourage indirect coercion. Employers, schools or governments should not generally require the use of cognitive enhancements. If particular enhancements are shown to be sufficiently safe and effective, this position might be revisited for those interventions.

Children once again represent a special case as they cannot make their own decisions. Comparisons between estimates of ADHD prevalence and prescription numbers have led some to suspect that children in certain school districts are taking enhancing drugs at the behest of achievement-oriented parents, or teachers seeking more orderly classrooms. Governments may be willing to let competent adults take certain risks for the sake of enhancement while restricting the ability to take such risky decisions on behalf of children.

The third concern is fairness. Consider an examination that only a certain percentage can pass. It would seem unfair to allow some, but not all, students to use cognitive enhancements, akin to allowing some students taking a maths test to use a calculator while others must go without. (Mitigating such unfairness may raise issues of indirect coercion, as discussed above.) Of course, in some ways, this kind of unfairness already exists. Differences in education, including private tutoring, preparatory courses and other enriching experiences give some students an advantage over others.

Whether the cognitive enhancement is substantially unfair may depend on its availability, and on the nature of its effects. Does it actually improve learning or does it just temporarily boost exam performance? In the latter case it would prevent a valid measure of the competency of the examinee and would therefore be unfair. But if it were to enhance long-term learning, we may be more willing to accept enhancement. After all, unlike athletic competitions, in many cases cognitive enhancements are not zero-sum games. Cognitive enhancement, unlike enhancement for sports competitions, could lead to substantive improvements in the world.

Fairness in cognitive enhancements has a dimension beyond the individual. If cognitive enhancements are costly, they may become the province of the rich, adding to the educational advantages they already enjoy. One could mitigate this inequity by giving every exam-taker free access to cognitive enhancements, as some schools provide computers during exam week to all students. This would help level the playing field.

Policy governing the use of cognitive enhancement in competitive situations should avoid exacerbating socioeconomic inequalities, and should take into account the validity of enhanced test performance. In developing policy for this purpose, problems of enforcement must also be considered. In spite of stringent regulation, athletes continue to use, and be caught using, banned performance-enhancing drugs.

We call for enforceable policies concerning the use of cognitive-enhancing drugs to support fairness, protect individuals from coercion and minimize enhancement-related socioeconomic disparities.

Maximum benefit, minimum harm

The new methods of cognitive enhancement are 'disruptive technologies' that could have a profound effect on human life in the twenty-first century. A laissez-faire approach to these methods will leave us at the mercy of powerful market forces that are bound to be unleashed by the promise of increased productivity and competitive advantage. The concerns about safety, freedom and fairness, just reviewed, may well seem less important than the attractions of enhancement, for sellers and users alike.

Motivated by some of the same considerations, Fukuyama has proposed the formation of new laws and regulatory structures to protect against the harms of unrestrained biotechnological enhancement. In contrast, we suggest a policy that is neither laissez-faire nor primarily legislative. We propose to use a variety of scientific, professional, educational and social resources, in addition to legislation, to shape a rational, evidence-based policy informed by a wide array of relevant experts and stake-holders. Specifically, we propose four types of policy mechanism.

The first mechanism is an accelerated programme of research to build a knowledge base concerning the usage, benefits and associated risks of cognitive enhancements. Good policy is based on good information, and there is currently much we do not know about the short- and long-term benefits and risks of the cognitive-enhancement drugs currently being used, and about who is using them and why. For example, what are the patterns of use outside of the United States and outside of college communities? What are the risks of dependence when used for cognitive enhancement? What special risks arise with the enhancement of children's cognition? How big are the effects of currently available enhancers? Do they change 'cognitive style', as well as increasing how quickly and accurately we think? And given that most research so far has focused on simple laboratory tasks, how do they affect cognition in the real world? Do they increase the total knowledge and understanding that students take with them from a course? How do they affect various aspects of occupational performance?

We call for a programme of research into the use and impacts of cognitive-enhancing drugs by healthy individuals.

The second mechanism is the participation of relevant professional organizations in formulating guidelines for their members in relation to cognitive enhancement. Many different professions have a role in dispensing, using or working with people who use cognitive enhancers. By creating policy at the level of professional societies, it will be informed by the expertise of these professionals, and their commitment to the goals of their profession.

One group to which this recommendation applies is physicians, particularly in primary care, paediatrics and psychiatry, who are most likely to be asked for cognitive enhancers. These physicians are sometimes asked to prescribe for enhancement by patients who exaggerate or fabricate symptoms of ADHD, but they also receive frank requests, as when a patient says "I know I don't meet diagnostic criteria for ADHD, but I sometimes have trouble concentrating and staying organized, and it would help me to have some Ritalin on hand for days when I really need to be on top of things at work." Physicians who view medicine as devoted to healing will view such prescribing as inappropriate, whereas those who view medicine more broadly as helping patients live better or achieve their goals would be open to considering such a request. There is certainly a precedent for this broader view in certain branches of medicine, including plastic surgery, dermatology, sports medicine and fertility medicine.

Because physicians are the gatekeepers to medications discussed here, society looks to them for guidance on the use of these medications and devices, and guidelines from other professional groups will need to take into account the gatekeepers' policies. For this reason, the responsibilities that physicians bear for the consequences of their decisions are particularly sensitive, being effectively decisions for all of us. It would therefore be helpful if physicians as a profession gave serious consideration to the ethics of appropriate prescribing of cognitive enhancers, and consulted widely as to how to strike the balance of limits for patient benefit and protection in a liberal democracy. Examples of such limits in other areas of enhancement medicine include the psychological screening of candidates for cosmetic surgery or tubal ligation, and upper bounds on maternal age or number of embryos transferred in fertility treatments. These examples of limits may not be specified by law, but rather by professional standards.

Other professional groups to which this recommendation applies include educators and human-resource professionals. In different ways, each of these professions has responsibility for fostering and evaluating cognitive performance and for advising individuals who are seeking to improve their performance, and some responsibility also for protecting the interests of those in their charge. In contrast to physicians, these professionals have direct conflicts of interest that must be addressed in whatever guidelines they recommend: liberal use of cognitive enhancers would be expected to encourage classroom order and raise standardized measures of student achievement, both of which are in the interests of schools; it would also be expected to promote workplace productivity, which is in the interests of employers.

Educators, academic admissions officers and credentials evaluators are normally responsible for ensuring the validity and integrity of their examinations, and should be tasked with formulating policies concerning enhancement by test-takers. Laws pertaining to testing accommodations for people with disabilities provide a starting point for discussion of some of the key issues, such as how and when enhancements undermine the validity of a test result and the conditions under which enhancement should be disclosed by a test-taker.

The labour and professional organizations of individuals who are candidates for on-the-job cognitive enhancement make up our final category of organization that should formulate enhancement policy. From assembly line workers to surgeons, many different kinds of employee may benefit from enhancement and want access to it, yet they may also need protection from the pressure to enhance.

We call for physicians, educators, regulators and others to collaborate in developing policies that address the use of cognitive-enhancing drugs by healthy individuals.

The third mechanism is education to increase public understanding of cognitive enhancement. This would be provided by physicians, teachers, college health centres and employers, similar to the way that information about nutrition, recreational drugs and other public-health information is now disseminated. Ideally it would also involve discussions of different ways of enhancing cognition, including through adequate sleep, exercise and education, and an examination of the social values and pressures that make cognitive enhancement so attractive and even, seemingly, necessary.

We call for information to be broadly disseminated concerning the risks, benefits and alternatives to pharmaceutical cognitive enhancement.

The fourth mechanism is legislative. Fundamentally new laws or regulatory agencies are not needed. Instead, existing law should be brought into line with emerging social norms and information about safety. Drug law is one of the most controversial areas of law, and it would be naive to expect rapid or revolutionary change in the laws governing the use of controlled substances. Nevertheless, these laws should be adjusted to avoid making felons out of those who seek to use safe cognitive enhancements. And regulatory agencies should allow pharmaceutical companies to market cognitive-enhancing drugs to healthy adults provided they have supplied the necessary regulatory data for safety and efficacy.

We call for careful and limited legislative action to channel cognitive-enhancement technologies into useful paths.

Conclusion

Like all new technologies, cognitive enhancement can be used well or poorly. We should welcome new methods of improving our brain function. In a world in which human workspans and lifespans are increasing, cognitive enhancement tools — including the pharmacological — will be increasingly useful for improved quality of life and extended work productivity, as well as to stave off normal and pathological age-related cognitive declines. Safe and effective cognitive enhancers will benefit both the individual and society.

But it would also be foolish to ignore problems that such use of drugs could create or exacerbate. With this, as with other technologies, we need to think and work hard to maximize its benefits and minimize its harms.

Join the debate on this topic at Nature Network http://tinyurl.com/6nyu29

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v456/n7223/full/456702a.html (access to full article requires subscription)

And a New York Times op-ed responding to the above article:

Living the Off-Label Life

By JUDITH WARNER
Published: December 26, 2008

What if you could just take a pill and all of a sudden remember to pay your bills on time? What if, thanks to modern neuroscience, you could, simultaneously, make New Year’s Eve plans, pay the mortgage, call the pediatrician, consolidate credit card debt and do your job — well — without forgetting dentist appointments or neglecting to pick up your children at school?

Would you do it? Tune out the distractions of our online, on-call, too-fast A.D.D.-ogenic world with focus and memory-enhancing medications like Ritalin or Adderall? Stay sharp as a knife — no matter how overworked and sleep-deprived — with a mental-alertness-boosting drug like the anti-narcolepsy medication Provigil?

I’ve always said no. Fantasy aside, I’ve always rejected the idea of using drugs meant for people with real neurological disorders to treat the pathologies of everyday life.

Most of us, viscerally, do. Cognitive enhancement — a practice typified by the widely reported abuse of psychostimulants by college students cramming for exams, and by the less reported but apparently growing use of mind-boosters like Provigil among in-the-know scientists and professors — goes against the grain of some of our most basic beliefs about fairness and meritocracy. It seems to many people to be unnatural, inhuman, hubristic, pure cheating.

That’s why when Henry Greely, director of Stanford Law School’s Center for Law and the Biosciences, published an article, with a host of co-authors, in the science journal Nature earlier this month suggesting that we ought to rethink our gut reactions and “accept the benefits of enhancement,” he was deluged with irate responses from readers.

“There were three kinds of e-mail reactions,” he told me in a phone interview last week. “‘How much crack are you smoking? How much money did your friends in pharma give you? How much crack did you get from your friends in pharma?’ ”

As Americans, our default setting on matters of psychotropic drugs — particularly when it comes to medicating those who are not very ill — tends to be, as the psychiatrist Gerald Klerman called it in 1972, something akin to “pharmacological Calvinism.” People should suffer and endure, the thinking goes, accept what hard work and their God-given abilities bring them and hope for no more.

But Greely and his Nature co-authors suggest that such arguments are outdated and intellectually dishonest. We enhance our brain function all the time, they say — by drinking coffee, by eating nutritious food, by getting an education, even by getting a good night’s sleep. Taking brain-enhancing drugs should be viewed as just another step along that continuum, one that’s “morally equivalent” to such “other, more familiar, enhancements,” they write.

Normal life, unlike sports competitions, they argue, isn’t a zero-sum game, where one person’s doped advantage necessarily brings another’s disadvantage. A surgeon whose mind is extra-sharp, a pilot who’s extra alert, a medical researcher whose memory is fine-tuned to make extraordinary connections, is able to work not just to his or her own benefit, but for that of countless numbers of people. “Cognitive enhancement,” they write, “unlike enhancement for sports competitions, could lead to substantive improvements in the world.”

I’m not convinced of that. I’m not sure that pushing for your personal best — all the time — is tantamount to truly being the best person you can be. I have long thought that a life so frenetic and fractured that it drives “neuro-normal” people to distraction, leaving them sleep-deprived and exhausted, demands — indeed, screams for — systemic change.

But now I do wonder: What if the excessive demands of life today are creating ever-larger categories of people who can’t reach their potential due to handicaps that in an easier time were just quirks? (Absent-minded professor-types were, for generations, typically men who didn’t need to be present — organized and on-time — for their kids.) Is it any fairer to saddle a child with a chronically overwhelmed parent than with one suffering from untreated depression?

And, furthermore, how much can most of us, on a truly meaningful scale, change our lives? At a time of widespread layoffs and job anxiety among those still employed, can anyone but the most fortunate afford to cut their hours to give themselves time to breathe? Can working parents really sacrifice on either side of the wage-earning/life-making equation? It’s disturbing to think that we just have to make do with the world we now live in. But to do otherwise is for most people an impossible luxury.

For some of us, saddled with brains ill-adapted to this era, and taxed with way too many demands and distractions, pharmacological Calvinism may now be a luxury, too.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/27/opinion/27warner.html?hp

My opinion may follow.

Shopping for Bicycles

2008-12-27T08:46:00.005+01:00

I'm in the market for a new bicycle. No real rush; it won't have the same dire-necessity quality my bike once held for me in Denmark, but I think it might be nice to have something to get me to and from the Metro faster than my current 10-15 minute morning meander. ... How I will accomplish said bike ride in a pencil skirt is yet to be determined.

I came across this 28000DKK Georg Jensen bike tonight and think it might fit the bill :

It's always fun to see a well-loved company experiment with pastures new - in this case, an urban bicycle, given a Georg Jensen makeover.
The limited edition model is an eye-catching brushed steel and leather affair done to the same detail as the handmade hammered surface of the company's own silver hollowware pieces. The handsome two-wheeler also comes complete with a handmade silver-plated bell, which similarly recalls the century-old firm's silversmithing heritage and leather grips and saddle by Brooks England. Produced in conjunction with leading Danish bike maker Sögreni, the thin-framed, skinny silhouette is bound to turn a few well-coiffed heads – although we don't like this one's chances locked up outside at night. - Wallpaper

Leather hand grips and saddle by Brooks are one of my new bike necessities. Seriously. I wonder if it comes in a girl model and if I could get one of my Danish friends or family members to pick it up at the Strøget flagship store and ship it over. Perhaps I will time my purchase of my fancy new $5300 (approx.) bike with my next visit, which will hopefully be in the next year (I'm not allowed back until after February due to visa constraints, but who really wants to visit Denmark in February anyway? Let's be real.)

I bet that picture of the bike was taken at Amager Strand, by the way. It makes me feel worldly to know things like that. ;)

Chinatown Glam

2008-12-23T05:10:00.004+01:00

DCist coincidentally posted this picture today; the very day my workplace changed from F & 11th to 9th & E and my metro commute changed from Metro Center to Gallery Place/Chinatown:

The picture shows the glitzy glam and sparkly decorations that, as I discovered to my 9am delight, adorn every possible railing at the Chinatown Metro station. I haven't seen any other Metro stop with decorations like these. I think they unquestionably set it worlds apart from every other station on the red line and possibly in the entire WMATA system. It's like all the Chinese residents of the city got together and said "Hey, we're putting aside our Buddhism, our Taoism, and those dragon-dogs that sit on either side of doors this holiday season. Bring your God, bring your Virgin Mary, bring your baby Jesus. Come buy your friends Pocky, egg noodles, and those mesh and sequin grandma slippers in a variety of colors as stocking stuffers and gifts for your office secret santa!" Yay. Go Chinatown!

Truth be told, my new office is about equidistant between Metro Center and Chinatown. I was planning on switching it up depending on the weather and if I wanted Starbucks in the morning, but I might skip Starbucks, check out the Spy Museum every day, and make Gallery Place/Chinatown my new permanent stop. I can't wait to see if they switch up the decor throughout the year.

Did WMATA get, like, a terrorist threat today?

2008-12-18T23:33:00.000+01:00

This picture was taken on the DC Metro's red line going from Metro Center towards Shady Grove at approximately 5:15pm today (Thursday, December 18). What the heck?! I know people have been disenchanted with Metro delays recently, especially on the red line, but I have never, ever seen the Metro this empty during RUSH HOUR. What's going on?! Usually I have to stand, jostle, and jockey for position during my entire commute home. All my stuff and I are currently sprawled across two seats. Granted, I usually don't leave work until 5:30, but does 15-30 minutes really make this much of a difference on a normal day? Seriously... I can't get over how Twilight-zone this feels. Was there a terrorist threat today or something?? Maybe by some one who is bitter about WMATA's whole anti-Google transport in the DC area thing...
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Morning Quick

2008-12-18T12:56:00.003+01:00

This post is dedicated to TW:

Truthfully, my multiple alarms had already been going off; though I tried to pass your text message off as waking me up. I thought it was funny that I was racking my brain for whatever the acronym RSS stands for at 6:35am. (Real Simple Syndicate? Rich Site Summary?) It wasn't really that I was showing my nerdy interior... most people kind of know that's my closet thing. It's like the gay kid who hasn't come out of the closet yet but is so obviously, flamboyantly gay it's comical. I try to hide my nerdery in hopes of being socially acceptable, but everyone snickers that I'm a dork behind my back. I think the real scary part is that I'm becoming such a yuppie that the ding of a message to my phone CAN hasten me into turning the lights on, responding, and subsequently start reading emails via my phone at 6:35am. Yikes.

This post aside, keep me on the RSS, if I'm there. I write for myself, but it's kinda fun that other people sometimes tune in for irregularly scheduled broadcasting.

Danish Dish

2008-12-17T18:07:00.002+01:00

Denmark's biggest news story since the Muhammed Cartoons, peppered with Danish silliness [italicized by yours truly] because, no matter what, Denmark just can't deny that they are a goofy country. From the Wall Street Journal:

For Denmark's Entrepreneur of Year, Something Was Rotten
Stein Bagger Pleads Guilty to Faking Software Deals; His Ph.D. Was Phony, Too »
By ANDREW HIGGINS

COPENHAGEN -- At a banquet here late last month, accounting firm Ernst & Young feted a Danish software company for runaway growth under Stein Bagger, its dynamic chief executive. About a thousand guests, including Denmark's tax minister and leading business people, were there to applaud.

Stein Bagger
But Mr. Bagger, the night's big winner, wasn't there to pick up the accolade of "Entrepreneur of the Year" and two other awards. He was busy fleeing from what investigators now describe as Denmark's biggest business scam in decades.

Shortly before the banquet began, Mr. Bagger, 41 years old, vanished from a hotel in Dubai. He flew to New York, drove across America and then surrendered to police in Los Angeles. In the meantime, his award-winning company, IT Factory, declared bankruptcy. A liquidator has taken over IT Factory and is sifting through its affairs.

Sent back to Denmark Tuesday, Mr. Bagger cried and pleaded guilty before a Danish court to charges of aggravated fraud and forgery, crimes that could land him in jail for eight years, according to his court-appointed lawyer, Jesper Madsen.

"Most of his business was fake," says Jens Madsen, head of an economic-crimes unit now investigating the spectacular rise and fall of Mr. Bagger. The entrepreneur also happens to be a former bodybuilder who, before becoming a Danish tech superstar, posed for a Swedish muscle magazine dressed as Superman. He's now suspected of pumping up IT Factory's profits -- which nearly tripled last year -- through phony deals.

The gist of the allegations is that Mr. Bagger used a web of phantom firms to get money from banks and then used these same companies to place big purchase orders for IT Factory software and services. He was buying from himself using other people's money.

Speaking to a Danish tabloid last week, Mr. Bagger said he felt guilty, sorry and "so happy that everything got revealed." Threats from unnamed extortionists, he added, had sent him astray. "I can understand that some people feel I let them down," he was quoted as saying. His lawyer doesn't dispute the interview.

The saga has fascinated and appalled a nation that takes pride in its Nordic rectitude.

The chief investigator estimates the swindle amounted to around $185 million, a modest sum next to the alleged fraud of America's Bernard Madoff but enough to fuel a jet-set lifestyle of sports cars and French Riviera holidays sharply at odds with the Danish norm.

Looking for clues to what went wrong, Denmark's media have dug into Mr. Bagger's personal life, particularly his obsession with physical fitness: how he met his second wife in a favorite gym, how he made money in his pretech days hawking muscle-boosting protein products and how he hired a burly Hells Angels Motorcycle Club member as a bodyguard. (They, too, met at the gym.)

Asger Jensby, IT Factory's chairman, says he is flabbergasted by the fate of what he thought was a "real company" run by a chief executive who was "sharp, a bit arrogant, very articulate and extremely orderly."

Leading banks meanwhile are trying to figure out how much money they lost in Mr. Bagger's blowout. Danske Bank, Denmark's biggest, says its exposure to IT Factory, is 350 million Danish kroner (around $64 million). Also taken for a ride is a champion cycling team that Mr. Bagger promised to sponsor. Badly jolted, too, are the accountants who did his books and found no irregularities.

KPMG audited IT Factory's accounts from 2005 through 2007. Deloitte did the same in the previous two years. From 2003 through 2007, IT Factory reported that its revenue grew 69 times and its profit rose 288 times, to 121 million kroner ($22 million). This year, says Mr. Jensby, the chairman, IT Factory expected to roughly quadruple its profit.

KPMG in Denmark says it is "shocked" and "cooperating with police." Deloitte's Danish unit said it has double-checked its 2003 and 2004 audits and found no problems.

Ernst & Young, for its part, has now withdrawn the three awards it gave to IT Factory on the day Mr. Bagger took flight. "We feel deceived," said Søren Strøm, head of Ernst & Young's "Entrepreneur of the Year" program, in a statement. The accounting firm, he added, is "unable to understand the last few days' developments."

"If things look too good to be true, they probably are too good to be true," says Bo Svensson, the head of a Danish software company who started sending out emails last year warning that IT Factory simply didn't have enough known customers to explain its explosive growth. He sent one to Mr. Jensby, IT Factory's chairman, who insisted there was no need for concern.

Mr. Jensby now says he was wrong and estimates that at least 95% of IT Factory's reported business was fictitious. He says Mr. Bagger stashed documents relating to fraudulent transactions in a secret office that was discovered only recently.

Mr. Svensson also sent warnings about IT Factory to International Business Machines Corp. A member of IBM's European Business Partner Advisory Board, Mr. Svensson sent a long email to IBM managers in Denmark describing IT Factory as a "house of cards" liable to collapse.

"Something is completely wrong," he wrote, warning that Mr. Bagger posed a risk to IBM's own reputation as IT Factory "in all contexts positions itself very close to IBM." Mr. Bagger, whose company had offices in India and the U.S., often boasted of close ties to IBM and helped sponsor a big IBM software conference in Florida.

An IBM spokesman, citing the current criminal investigation, declined to comment on what, if anything, was done in response to Mr. Svensson's messages.

A few months after Mr. Svensson's warning, IBM Denmark named Mr. Bagger's company as the year's "Best Partner" in a software business line. The head of IBM Denmark this year hailed IT Factory as "creative and visionary." IBM has now filed a claim with IT Factory's liquidator to try to get back the 125 million kroner ($23 million) it says it is owed by Mr. Bagger's now defunct company.

One person to come out of the mess looking good is Dorte Toft, a 64-year-old free-lance journalist and blogger. She, too, received an email message from Mr. Svensson last year. A former computer programmer, Ms. Toft began swapping notes with Mr. Svensson, whom she initially knew only as "John Doe." In December, she wrote a blog challenging Mr. Bagger's extraordinary growth figures.

But, she says, virtually no one wanted to listen to "an old woman."

Mr. Bagger, she says, went to great lengths to conceal his deceptions. Earlier this year, she began to question Mr. Bagger about boasts that he had a Ph.D. from San Francisco Technical University. She asked how that was possible when no such university exists. Mr. Bagger came up with an elaborate plan.

On the pretext of developing talking points for college employees to answer phone queries about academic records, he hired Vicki Lang, an American artist and actress living in Copenhagen, to play the role of an official at San Francisco State University, an institution that does exist. "If I'd thought about it, I might have said: 'Oh, this sounds strange,' but I was just happy to have a job," recalls Ms. Lang.

He wrote a script for a dialogue between himself and Ms Lang, who, as a university official, would explain that his nonexistent college had been folded into San Francisco State and confirm that he had a Ph.D. in international business. Mr. Bagger then told Ms. Lang he'd like to test the script over the phone on the afternoon of Oct. 29. He called Ms. Toft, the skeptical blogger, to his office for an interview at the same time.

When Ms. Toft showed up and started asking questions, Mr. Bagger announced that he would call San Francisco to prove that he was telling the truth about his Ph.D. Ms. Toft, smelling a rat, told him not to bother: "I knew him too well."

Ms. Lang says she forgot all about Mr. Bagger -- until he became the most infamous man in Denmark two weeks later.

Ms. Lang doesn't have hard feelings because, unlike so many others, she didn't lose anything. "He didn't cheat me. I got my money."

Dayquiltinis and pondering 'Do meth addicts have friends?'

2008-12-03T06:52:00.003+01:00

My current Facebook status message reads

Sarah is starting her days with dayquiltinis (open dayquil, take a swig straight from the bottle, add alcohol later by rinsing with listerine) just like in college.

Which is true. In college I got into a mildly "bad" habit when I had colds. I was one of those kids that hated to miss class. Lame, you might think, but it's actually pure laziness in play. I reasoned that I would rather just attend class, take notes, ask questions, etc. if the alternative was skipping and having to *gasp* teach myself the material. I mean, if you have a professor who is willing (or, okay, paid to) stand up in front of you teaching you the ins and outs of legal philosophy, how to do psych stats without the aid of the oh-so-handy SPSS, and look over your shoulder while you compose short lines of music using only correct chord progressions (yes, all of these are things I had to do in college), then I think "why not?" Go to class, be a sponge, soak it up. When the exam comes sit back smuggly and think to yourself "oh, I remeber this!" and then freak out because you're a perfectionist and your 20-page philosophy essay has to be reasoned to the end of the universe or within nine tenths of the law because you don't want your professor to think you are lazy or, worse, an idiot... but that's besides the point. The point is I went to class all the time. I can probably count on one hand the number of classes I missed in college*, and I graduated with close to 140 credits or something like that. Back to the Dayquil. Because I was often in a hurry in the morning (not because I would be late to class- more because I HAD to allow extra time to stop at Wawa or the coffee shop in the Student Union before I got there or else I would die of caffiene deprivation or develop sudden narcolepsy) I got in the habit of swigging Dayquil directly from the bottle. That's right. Instead of using the plastic measuring cup that so handily came with it, I would just take a shot of it. Exactly like the kinds of shots you would take in the last seconds before you left your aparment to "hit" the lame-to-the max bars in my "college town." Usually I forgot and brushed my teeth pre-'quil, so I'd have to swig some List-o after the 'quil. Thus, Dayquiltinis, which soothed my throat, made my nose breathable, and gave me just enough energy to get through the day were born. They were like a bar-goers liquid courage. Except they were my liquid-life. Or whatever. Maureen, this drunken rambling post is for you.

Anyways, so as my Facebook says, I've been swigging them again. I've come down with a cold, but I simply cannot stop my life for a cold. I've got a lot to do. Errands to run. I've got to run because I've got another race in less than two weeks and I want to do better than the 10k I ran on Thanksgiving day. Dayquiltinis to the rescue. As such, I've been going through a fair amount of Day (and Ny)quil. I needed to restock today when I was at Target. I decided to go with the Target brand because, c'mon now, we all know they contain the exact same amounts of the exact same ingredients and who really cares if you pay an extra $1.50 so you can have name brands in your medicine cabinet?! I was standing at checkout chatting with the checkout girl (I always do) and she apologetically asked for my drivers license. I was like "what?" She explained that they needed to see if for all purchases of that type because it could be used to make crystal meth. I handed my license over and she SCANNED IT. Which is fine, because I'm not planning on building or taking my precious 'quil to a meth lab. But what if I need to buy more?! I was slightly panicky. But then I realized I could always have a friend pick it up to me if I really got too paranoid that I couldn't buy it again (though I don't look like a meth addict - I have perfect teeth and my eyes are bright and sparkly with no sunken dark circles! - so I really don't think it would be a problem.). But couldn't meth addicts do the same thing? Have their friends pick up meth ingredients for them? How much of whatever is in dayquil do you need to make crystal meth anyway? Do meth addicts have friends?

With those ponderances, I bud you adieu for now. Maureen, as I said, I dedicate this Three-Buck-Chuck influenced post to you. :)

* Two of them I missed senior year were because I had to attend a funeral and a couple I missed sophomore year were because I was so sick they almost hooked me up to an IV drip at the STUDENT HEALTH CENTER which, in my opinion, is not even a "REAL" medical facility. Usually they just turn you away with instructions to take a few advil and go back to class. Being told I needed to be hooked up to an IV if I didn't drink a liter of the nastiest faux-Gatorade mix oh Earth was a huge "OMG, YOU'RE DYING" tip-off. I was afeared.

Snuggie or Slanket?

2008-12-02T03:46:00.002+01:00

People who have lived with me or know me well enough to hang out with me in relaxed situations at home (as opposed to, say, house party/dinner party/getting ready to go out/etc. situations) know that I am a die-hard blanket fan. I like to wrap a blanket around me and go about my home life wrapped in it like some kind of deranged patient in a psychiatric ward with attachment and/or regression issues. This is a year-round thing. That's right, even in the summer I'm a blanket fan. I tend to favor fleece blankets, but I also like my down Laura Ashley one and this felt-ish quilt one my parents have. I'm not sure if my blanket adoration is some kind of weird carryover comfort thing from childhood, or what. I'm guessing it's not because blankets weren't even a huge part of my childhood. Sure, when I was young I had a blankie, but I outgrew it in favor of Minnie Mouse by the time I was, like, five. I think I just like being snuggly.

That said, one can only imagine my excitement when DCist featured a piece on blankets with arms!!! Marketed as either the Snuggie ($19.95) or Slanket ($44.95), my first thought was "Why didn't I think of that?!" My second thought was "I need it." They are kinda (okay, REALLY) gimmicky, but so perfect for me considering my blanket lounging habits and preferences. Now I have to decide which one I want, and what color. I'm leading towards the Slanket. Yeah, it's twice as expensive, but it looks more (dare I say it?) "snuggie" than the Snuggie. Plus, the guy lounging in the burnt orange colored one (which does not seem to be available anymore) looks like John Krasinski, so +1, Slanket.

Mattresses are for lie-rs.

2008-11-22T03:28:00.002+01:00

Two weeks ago I went mattress shopping with a friend. It is important to note that there are no mattress stores in our town. I guess the urban planners of Chevy Chase figure a Mattress Discounters would look out of place sandwiched between Dior and Barney's. A few towns down on a main shopping strip of a road, we hit mattress purchaser heaven. I swear, there must have been at least seven mattress stores within a single mile of road. Mattress Discounters, Mattress Warehouse, Mattress Warehouse Outlet, Sleepy's, Serta, etc. etc. etc. As with all stores that sell very specialized, once-in-awhile-purchase type items (others include furniture stores, carpet stores, and stores that sell blinds for your windows), I wonder how mattress stores make enough money to stay open. I did some research and learned that the average life of a mattress is 10-15 years. So, assuming people only buy mattresses every 10-15 years, how much business do stores like this really get? How do they pay their rent? Especially because the average cost of mattresses seems to be $800-$3000 (the highest we layed on was $6000). We went into three or four stores in all before she found one she liked. We were the only customers in each of them. I'm also pretty sure most of the mattress salesmen thought we were lesbians. Hmmm...

(p.s. Tempurpedic mattresses are awful. I absolutely hated them and don't get what all the hype is about. Sorry, Swedes.)

Old and Busted | New Hotness

2008-11-22T03:05:00.005+01:00

Old and Busted: Elizabethan Collars

New Hotness: Anthropologie's Battement Necklace

Old and Busted: Magic the Gathering Cards

New Hotness: New Humanist's God Trumps game, a "cut-out-and-keep metaphysical card game for all the family."

Old and Busted: Gloves with Polartec

New Hotness: Gloves that use a flexible polymer film that automatically regulates its own temperature (!) (unfortunately, look and style of the gloves = big negative)

Have you been to the DC metro aquarium?

2008-11-20T18:46:00.000+01:00

On my way to lunch with Maureen at the (in)famous Kramerbooks today (where I am going to have these week's special of broiled Naragansett lobster stuffed with crab meat!!!! I skipped breakfast in delicious anticipation.) I realized what the sounds heard while riding the long elevator down to the metro tunnel at Friendship Heights mimic: whales. You know those nature shows where they film underwater and describe different whale sounds as "mating" or "locating," etc.? Sounds exactly like that. Weird. Can't they just grease the elevators not to squeak? Everyone knows they take them apart for repairs when they break, like, every week anyway. Grease them then. I'm off to lunch! Mmmm...
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Power Outage!!

2008-11-15T12:39:00.000+01:00

It's around 6:45am. I woke up to use the bathroom (which is odd, but not entirely out of the ordinary for me) and quickly realized that the power's out! Waking up to a power outage can be quite disorienting. It's pouring down rain, so the outage must be due to the storm. Also, it must have JUST gone out (computer battery was at 95%), so I'm presuming the loss of electricity is what woke me up! I'm the only one sleeping in our house tonight, so I played grownup, lit some candles (I have dozens. I'm part Danish so I tend to hoard candles in the drug addict-like pursuit of hygge), and checked the fuse box. It looks okay. All the switches are on and flipped in the same direction, so I know the outage is external. Must be the whole neighborhood that's out. I wish it weren't pouring, I'd go for a walk. Luckily I can blog from my phone instead. This is totally the modern-day version of reading a book while the power is out! I'm off to read a book, go back to sleep, or eat the earliest Saturday morning breakfast I've had in ages.
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Tabbed browsing and the blackberry browser + being a loser insomniac

2008-11-13T08:20:00.000+01:00

I can't sleep right now. Nothing new, I frequently have insomnia, especially when I'm stressed, which I currently am. Increasingly. Instead of doing something I feel would risk keeping me up for hours, like watching TV, surfing the net on my computer, or, worse, indulging in a 2am snack of orange chicken and shrimp fried rice leftover from tonight's dinner, I am browsing the net from my effin' blackberry. That's right. And, instead of wondering what the hell is wrong with me to surf a plethora of sites with non-blackberry friendly interface and email petty gossip to friends in darkness, broken only by the focused light of my pda screen, I think, "Man, I wish the blackberry browser had tabbed browsing." Tragically pathetic.

I'm off to read a guilty pleasure book. No, not a smutty, too-risque-to-even-take-to-the-beach romance novel. It's the second in a series for teenage girls, which will remain unnamed.

Night.
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Bike on the Metro

2008-11-07T21:53:00.000+01:00

Reminds me of Denmark. I miss the S-tog... And my bike.
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We have a poltergeist in our house.

2008-11-07T00:12:00.003+01:00

Specifically, our poltergeist lives in the laundry room... and I think it hates my roommate, Michele. I say this because I did a load and a half of laundry yesterday, no problems at all. Today, Michele and I were doing laundry together (I had a load in the dryer and Michele had a load in the washer - we have one of those standard attached washer/dryer units). I heard the dryer buzz so I went in to take my clothes out. To my shock and amazement, the washer/dryer unit had moved a good foot and a half out of the corner it was previously wedged in. It must have moved in some kind of rocking motion because our striped laundry room rug was now firmly wedged under the front right side of it. I have absolutely no idea how it moved that much. I tried to push it back, but it was REALLY REALLY heavy and I had to call in Michele and Sarah (my other roommate) to help me. I don't know why it would have moved today and not yesterday when I was doing laundry... or last week when Sarah was doing laundry. The only "rational" explanation I can come up with is that we have a poltergeist. :) Freaky. Maybe he is mad because I didn't use dryer sheets. Or, the more likely explanation (IMHO), because he hates Michele. Plain and simple.

Europe Is Finally, Totally, Awesomely Jealous

2008-11-06T05:35:00.004+01:00

Discovered via G-chat link from my friend, Justin (who is a fabulous interior architect living in Brooklyn, NY. If you would like your space designed with flair (and can afford a hefty retainer fee!), contact me for his email). Reprinted without permission but with a citation and a link from New York Magazine:
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/11/obama_paves_the_way_for_future.html

It's like we went away for the summer and lost all the weight and got contacts! And also a tan.
Photo: Getty Images

For as long as we can remember, we have been Europe's fat, awkward friend, the friend that it didn't really like but had to hang around with because of circumstance. Europe disapproved of our flashy, loud, aggressive parents and was disgusted by what they perceived as our own flaccid response to them. And no matter how hard we tried with Europe, despite the fact that we let them raid our closets (and our clothes always looked better on them than us), and were bend-over-backward nice and flattering and totally self-deprecating, in the end they'd always just look at us like, "Do you really want to eat those fries?" But now, finally, we have done something to impress Europe. Last night, it choked on its cigarette and spit up its wine — that's how impressed it was. And this morning, it was all aflutter: The headline on Germany's Bild said, "Good Morning Mr. President — Make the World Better!" and Le Figaro led with "The World Salutes Obama's Victory."

"At a time when we must face huge challenges together, your election has raised enormous hope in France, in Europe and beyond," French fox-in-chief Nicolas Sarkozy said.

But the best part was that they are not just impressed, they're jealous.

"Cross-race values in politics is not something that is happening here yet," Bertrand Deprez, a consultant for the Centre, an E.U.-affairs lobbying firm, told the Journal, which also quotes a passage from Minorities.org, a blog devoted to European minority politics:

"Thanks to [Obama], minority politicians in Europe are looking at themselves as future Obamas … They're congratulating him, but they're also looking at their own future. They're thinking 'I can become mayor of Brussels."

Now, America. We have to remember not to gloat too hard when we see statements such as the above. We can't be like, Oh, yeah, if you try really hard, maybe you can achieve what we achieved in our massive country in your city of one million. We cannot etch, "Suck it, Eurotrash," in our cornfields. We must remember the most important lesson that transformational teen movies, perhaps our greatest cultural legacy, have taught us: Despite the fact that we are now a shining beacon of awesomeness and basically prom queen, we can never forget the fat, ugly unpopular kid that we used to be and are still inside. We have to treat everyone like they're just as unique and awesome and cool as us. Even France.

AWESOME.

Explanation

2008-11-05T18:54:00.002+01:00

Dear readers,

I apologize for yesterday's short and relatively profane blog post, and for not posting in ages. To clarify/explain a few things, including my absence:

1. Jeff, in response to your email: My post had nothing to do with wanting or not wanting Obama to win. I just think the electoral college is stupid and antiquated, like I said. It does not reflect democracy and, in accordance to what Tanya and Marc mentioned in the comments section, I, too, feel that it is unnecessary in our modern technology age. I also feel that being elected as a governmental representative should require one to give up their individual vote. I think it is appalling when representatives do not vote in a way to reflect the majority opinion of their constituency. I think this should be required, and if it means having to put their personal opinion "on the back burner" for the duration of their term, so be it. ... But that's another post entirely.

2. That being said, I don't think I have expressed my political opinions on the American election one way or another in this blog and I plan to keep it that way. I will give a few clues, though: a) I'm a registered voter, but I cannot vote in the primary election. b) I have lived in Denmark for a total of a year and a half of my adult life and have great respect for the Socialist system. c) I'm always interested in social issues - primarily healthcare. I think it is appalling that the United States is the only first world country that lacks health coverage for everyone. d) I also think we should try to be self sustaining as far as energy goes. I don't understand why we don't have windmill farms and I don't understand why people in our country are so resistant to nuclear power, esp. because it's working overseas. e) I believe domestic policy should be in order before we parade overseas to act as an American Hegemonic Superhero.

3. To explain my absence, I've had a lot going on. I recently moved from my parents house in Annapolis, Maryland, where I'd been living since returning from Denmark, to a house with two friends in Chevy Chase ("The Rodeo Drive of the East"), Maryland - I live about two blocks from the Washington, D.C. border. Our new house is still a complete disaster area and it's coming along slowly. We have boxes all over the place, most of my sweaters and long sleeved t-shirts are still in the force flex trash bags I used to transport them, we've been eating our meals on folding card tables in front of the TV (no dining room table yet), there is a "beer fridge" (mini fridge, for all y'all that have been out of college forever/only drink hard liquor) in the middle of said dining room... Just an absolute disaster zone. Oh, and I've spent an inordinate amount of time on the phone with Comcast, Montgomery County parking and transportation office, etc.

4. I've also been looking for a job, and there has been a lot of heartache and turn around with that. Honestly, I think I've had the worst luck ever during my job search. I've had interviews, I've had offers, but still no job. :( I don't feel like posting about it, because some stupid superstitious bone inside me is telling me not to, but I'm hoping it will get better soon. If nothing else, I'm just really, really bored. It's hard to go from a really great full time job (in Denmark) to nothing, zero, zippo, zilch.

I'm hoping to come back to my blog now. I really enjoy blogging and I've missed it. I often think of things to blog about during random times and then never get around to blogging about them. For example, the other day I was thinking about what a weird pagan tradition carving pumpkins seems to be. I wanted to look it up and blog about it, but I never got around to it. I'll try to post more regularly. Writing is and always has been cathartic for me. Unfortunately, sometimes I feel I'm limited in what I can write about in this blog, because I'm not really sure who reads it... We'll see, though. Keep alert for more frequent posts coming soon. I really enjoy getting all your comments and emails. If you have any ideas for a post, or something you're dying to know what I think about, let me know!

Sarah

The Electoral College

2008-11-05T05:42:00.000+01:00

... is fucking stupid.

Antiquated bullshit.

A few thoughts about running:

2008-10-12T19:25:00.003+02:00

1. I could have run yesterday's race faster. I haven't run a 5k in SO LONG. I didn't realize it was such a short-feeling distance, considering that most of my training runs are 4-6 miles. Before I knew it I hit the mile 3 marker and started the .12 sprint, but I still finished feeling like I had a ton of energy left and missing my goal time (sub 27) by about a minute. :-/ meh. I still ran the race with negative splits the whole time, which was one of my goals, with the fastest being around a 9 minute mile. I'm also stoked that my "hill work" back and forth on the Severn River Bridge has been paying off. Yesterday's hills were no problem. :) The whole first mile of the race was largely up hill. After moving from pancake-flat Denmark and running a hilly 8k that I struggled with, I knew I needed to work on my hills. I still think I need a bit of work on letting off the breaks on my downhills, but I'm doing much better.

2. I've got another race coming up this weekend, the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure in Hunt Valley, Maryland. If anyone would like to donate for the cure, please click here. Thank you!

3. During much of my run yesterday I was running behind this girl in a green skirt. I used her as my pace marker for most of the race, then at the end I zipped past her. It was a great feeling. It's also an awesome feeling to pass men/boys. :)

4. I saw someone take a GU around mile 2 of the 5k I ran yesterday. Seriously, a GU. After about 18 minutes of running. Do you really need that? Also... those of you that were wearing fuel belts... seriously?

5. I hate when it is clearly stated in the race packet that headphones are not allowed and PEOPLE WEAR THEM ANYWAY. I LOVE running in headphones. I run all my training runs in headphones. I think I run faster with a good beat. But I respect race rules and run without them when they are prohibited. It sucks, but if I can do it, you can do it. Sing a song in your head, listen to the runners around you or supporters on the street, play a game (I like shoe counting - count 5 of one brand and move on to the next), check out people's outfits (my favorite yesterday was the guy in the white shirt with "Chuck Norris counted to infinity." written on it with a sharpie), do long division or solve a logical proof in your head (okay, am I the only dork that does this?). If I can do it, you can do it. I'm sure I'm not the only one hating on you for feeling like the rules don't apply for you. And if I "accidentally" nail you with my elbow as I run past in a narrow strip, I'll tell you I warned you I was passing, but unfortunately you just couldn't hear me. :-P

So Sarah Says, running amok and signing off!

Don't Block The Box!! Or the entire street.

2008-10-10T20:52:00.001+02:00

I just saw a woman hang a U-ey in the middle of M street in Georgetown. Bold move during today's (and everyday's) traffic. I wondered if she was Danish. Danes pull those kinds of idiot traffic stunts on busy streets (like HC Andersen Boulevard - the busy part by Raadhuspladsen and Tivoli) all the time. But then she "justified" it with a friendly soccer mom smile and a wave to all the angry, honking drivers that were cut off, inconvenienced, and endangered. A Dane would never do THAT. They are way too self-righteous for that. That's where I get it from.
Darwin the Dummies.
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L'Enfant Plaza

2008-10-09T18:42:00.001+02:00

Dear Metro drivers,

I don't want to sound condescending, but this has gone on for way too long. I understand that the quality of education you received, your cultural upbringing, and opportunities for international travel may have been somewhat limited in comparison to mine, but you have to understand that L'Enfant Plaza is pronounced L'on-fahnt. The first part, prior to the hyphen, is kind of like a sensual, slightly breathless sound. Its French. Kind of like that fake LV that your babymama is carrying would be if it weren't made in China and bought from a street vendor. It is NOT Ebonics. It should not be pronounced "La Fant." No, that's the girl your son was dating before he started 'hookin up wit Shaniqua'. I thank you kindly for recognizing and remaining cognizant of this distinction for many Metro rides to come.

Sincerely,

Sarah

(And all the other Francophone, knowledgeable, and just plain disgruntled riders of the blue, orange, yellow, and green Metro lines.)

P.S. - I will be moving to Friendship Heights soon, which is on the red line and doesn't go through L'Enfant, so you won't have to worry about me, but try to change for the greater good... And your own personal betterment.

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New Addicting Game

2008-10-06T07:00:00.001+02:00

quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" WIDTH="120" HEIGHT="175"
NAME="TravelerIQ" ALIGN="middle" TYPE="application/x-shockwave-flash"
pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"
allowscriptaccess="always" flashvars="SkinBkg=aHR0cDovL3RpcS50cmF2ZWxwb2QuY29tL2Jpbi9ncmFwaGljcy93aXR3L3BhdGNoX2dsb2JlXzEyMHgxNzUucG5n&SkinSize=MTIweDE3NQ==&IQ=OTM=" >

This Traveler IQ was calculated on Monday, October 06, 2008 at 04:59AM GMT by comparing this person's geographical knowledge against the Web's Original Travel journal's 3,150,026 travelers who've taken the challenge.

Michele, I sadly must inform you that I got within 5 kilometers when it asked me the location of the Doge Palace. UGH. I am not proud of this. The Doges and St. Mark's pigeon-filled square haunt my life. You know how much? No photo.

Ousted By Technology!!

2008-09-30T06:04:00.002+02:00

Sometimes technology is awesome. Sometimes, it'll get you in trouble. Case in point:

Yesterday I took my parents to look at my new house and meet the realtor. Before we left the house, we were trying to decide who would drive. It was quickly decided that I would because I knew the way, even though my car is pretty tiny and not really ideal for transporting three adults. I also agreed to drive because I needed gas and knew chances were "very likely" to "guaranteed" that my parents would pay for the tank if they were in the car when I got it. (ULTERIOR MOTIVE.)

Well, in assesment of both party's initial assumptions, I was right and my parents were wrong. I was right in that my parents did pay to fill up my tank (yay!), but they were wrong in that I knew how to get to my house. When I had visited before I just plugged in the Garmin and hit the road, paying little attention to street names and directions. Instead of getting hopelessly lost, I decided to do the same thing yesterday.

Apparently the Garmin has features I didn't know about. You can press a button and it will display your average and maximum speed, direction, etc. etc. My dad knew about these features. Upon pressing the button, the conversation in the car went something like this:

Me: "Oh, wow, that's cool."

Dad: "Sarah, your max speed is 85 miles per hour!"

Me: "Oh, hmm, well at least it's the max speed and not the average speed, right?"

Dad: "There is not one single road around here where the speed limit is faster than 65. I don't want you getting a ticket!"

Me: "... But aren't you impressed my car can even go that fast?!"

Dad: "..."

Note to self: Learn how to reset the Garmin, just in case. Stop pretending the beltway is an autobahn. :)

Addendum to The Danish Ruse

2008-09-25T04:42:00.002+02:00

If you clicked the Politiken link, you may have read that the organization that declared Denmark the least corrupt country is called Transparency International. According to their website, Transparency International is

the global civil society organisation leading the fight against corruption, bring[ing] people together in a powerful worldwide coalition to end the devastating impact of corruption on men, women and children around the world. TI’s mission is to create change towards a world free of corruption.

Interesting.

The Danish Ruse

2008-09-25T04:31:00.003+02:00

According to Politiken, Denmark is the world's least corrupt country.

I agree with the FARK commentary. The Danes just hide it better. I know, because I'm part Danish and I hide part of my corruption. :)

It would have been really funny if this was published by Jyllands-Posten. Anyone remember the Mohammed Controversy? Sure, no corruption. Just Tuborg, Faxe Kondi, stupid mermaid statues, and anarchist communities. Oh, and hot blondes.

Social Security Office Update

2008-09-23T21:11:00.000+02:00

I'm sitting in the social security office right now. I had to take a number when I came in (how very European!). I am number (and letter) A8. They just called A5. I feel like I have awhile to wait. Interestingly, they are playing cartoons in the waiting room. I think that's a strange choice for a waiting room which currently, and likely usually, is filled with adults. Hmmm...
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Shirts That Speak

2008-09-23T19:18:00.004+02:00

I rarely wear shirts with writing on them, but I'd consider making an exception for these:
Brooklyn Industries Golden Ratio t-shirt, discovered via swissmiss.

The Giant Peach Paint That Shit t-shirt, discovered via design is mine.

"Intricacies" of The United States Social Security Card Application

2008-09-23T04:09:00.004+02:00

For some employment related things I realized I needed my social security card today. After searching high and low, I still couldn't find it. I think maybe I lost it back in 2006 when I had my wallet stolen (Okay, okay... I was in Europe and still excited about the whole "legal drinking(!!!!)" [at 20(!!!)] thing. I'd been drinking with friends all night and was stupidly carrying a clutch, rather than a bag with handles or a strap. Knowing me, I believe it was technically lost. But it was "stolen" for insurance purposes).

A little Google-action lead me to the government's social security site. I learned that when you need to obtain a United States Social Security Card, either new or a replacement, you have to fill out an ss-5 form and bring it to your local Social Security Card Center for processing. Okay, no problem... Just a few boring forms, maybe a small fee, and I'd have a fresh new card.

... Little did I know the five-page ss-5 form for a new card would be a delight as it seems to be

a) an extension of the U.S. Citizenship test.
b) A Darwinian experiment.
c) A fear-inducing form for any forgetful scatterbrain.

Let me elaborate...

First of all, like many forms, there are lots of "technical" instructions in the beginning. You have to write in blue or black ink, print on regular sized (or A4) white paper, etc. After you fill out the form you either have to bring it or send it in to your local SS office. If you are aged 12 or older and have never been assigned a number, you must apply in person. That's so social security workers can make sure you pass the the visual sketch-test (meaning you don't look like a sketchball).

One scary thing (the fear-inducing (c)) is that the form clearly states that Public Law 108-458 imposes limits on the number of replacement social security cards you may receive at 3 per year and 10 per lifetime. Yikes!! What if you lose your card more than ten times?!?! Is that it? You get deported or something?? Sorry, you can't be a citizen anymore. You can't take a new job. You probably can't get married. On that note, what if you get remarried (God forbid) more than 10 times and need to keep changing your name. Hmm...

Lastly, it's really weird because there is a major trick question on the application. The applicant's name is stated in section 1. The applicant's date of birth is stated in section 6. SECTION 13 (tricky 13!!) asks: 'Enter any different date of birth if used on an earlier application for a card.'

HUH!? It seems like filling out this question is just asking to either get your recently granted U.S. Citizenship yanked away or be forever scowled upon by the U.S. Government for likely being a dumb, resource-sucking citizen for the rest of your life. What other birth date would someone have used? I hate how birthdays change every so often. It's like you immune system, which changes every 7 years or so... So does your birthday. ?????

What a cruel trick.

Also, interestingly enough, the SS office cannot accept birth certificates as proof of identity. You have to have a driver's license or passport.

Oh well. Hopefully I'll get a new card. I'm going tomorrow.

IT WORKED!!

2008-09-22T02:53:00.001+02:00

Excellent!

Though I'm not sure how often (if ever) I'll use it... It takes a long time to type things with just your thumbs.
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Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3...?!?

2008-09-22T02:44:00.001+02:00

Word on the cyber street is that you can blog from your phone now. Of course I had to try...!

So, hmmmm, did it work?
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Pseudo "Science"

2008-09-18T05:33:00.003+02:00

Today the author of a blog I have in my RSS feed decided to do an online handwriting analysis. Because I was bored and I have a high penchant for e-gimmicks, I decided to try it myself.

Well, what a disappointment! Getting a handwriting analysis from http://handwriting.feedbucket.com is like getting a handwriting analysis from the POS digital signature pad in the self checkout line at the grocery store. It took for freaking ever to use the mouse space on my laptop to pointer-finger draw anything that even remotely resembles how I write:After you waste five to ten minutes on that nonsense, you have to answer five simple questions about text size, spacing, slant, etc. The results of my analysis said:

You fill every waking moment with activity.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

Hmmm... that's interesting. I'll say straightforwardly that I think all this handwriting analysis mumbo jumbo is subject to the Forer Effect, much like horoscopes and personality tests like the Meyers-Brigg (I'm a rare ENTP!!), but I'll indulge you and myself with some e-commentary anyway.

I'd say ideally I'd fill every waking moment with activity, but in reality I can be quite lazy and get bored at times, and then the activity unfortunately just doesn't happen. In regards to the second; I think the part about being shy is not only untrue, but also is a glaring contradiction to the point further down which says I'm talkative (true) and maybe even a busy body (nah, I don't think so. I'm way too self absorbed for busybodiness). The part about intimate relationships, though... probably some truth to that. Diplomatic and objective, yes, I'd like to think so. Live in the present? Well, I try to, but I've got to admit I'm a dweller and often dwell on things from the past, indicating at least one foot in the past, most of the time. Already touched on the fourth point. The fifth point; well, I try, and I think I do a pretty good job.

Still, the whole thing was lame. I wouldn't have even blogged about it if it hadn't taken me a few minutes to actually write So Sarah Says in my[-esque] handwriting.

Try it if you're bored.

Tribute from the 'hood

2008-09-11T15:41:00.002+02:00

"We still here!!! And we buildin four more new towers!!!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLMpbmRj0tE&feature=related

I urge you to pay close attention at approximately 2:08. :)

Still a local celebrity... apparently...

2008-09-07T19:51:00.003+02:00

I used to joke that I was a local celebrity in Europe because I would run into students from the study abroad program where I worked all over the place. Half the time I wouldn't even recognize them. I'd be in the grocery store, on a street in Amsterdam, in Christiania, you name it, and someone would say "Hey, Sarah!" ... "Um, hi..."

Very strange indeed.

My celebrity status reached a new peak last night.

I spent the day in D.C., popping around some of my favorite old haunts (shopping!!) and exploring a few new places in Georgetown and Adams Morgan. The day included a trip to the delicious and much anticipated Georgetown Cupcake (!) and a rather embarrassing 'couture/elevator/back door' debacle... Later in the evening I met up with my friend Collin from Georgetown and his brother, Landon. Landon was visiting from North Carolina and Collin had celebrated his birthday earlier in the week, so we had dinner at Clyde's and went out for "a few" belated birthday/welcome to D.C. drinks in Adam's Morgan. Somewhere between my n^x beer (I started classy with gin and tonics, but as the night progress I switched to an uncountable number of $4 drafts. Cheap compared to what I'm used to... I love thee, America.), the slice of some random guy's chocolate 40th birthday cake, and a jumbo slice of pizza, I had a weird "celebrity" experience.

I think we were at Madam's Organ when I caught the eye of a suspiciously familiar looking tall, blonde guy walking towards me. He approached me and was like "Denmark!?" I was like "Huh? What?" He was like "I've seen you walking on Gammel Torv!* Don't you work for DIS?"

?!?!?

"Um, I used to," I stammered, "but I don't any more. I moved back here on Monday. Wait. What are you doing here? Are you Danish?"

"Yeah, I'm Danish. I'm going to school at Georgetown now. My name is Peter."**

"Oh. Weird. I'm Sarah."***

And we exchanged numbers. At least I think we did. I now have some one named Peter in my cell phone (who I have no intention of calling, ever.) Really, really weird that someone would recognize me from walking around Copenhagen and that I would run into them in a bar I have been to all of once in Adam's Morgan. Small world. Local Celebrity.

I'm telling you, I'm so completely weirded out by this.

*A square in Copenhagen near where I used to work. Actually, it's between where I used to work and the longest pedestrian only shopping street in Europe so, yes, I was probably seen walking on it quite often.
**He actually said his name in Danish: Jeg hedder Peter.
** I actually responded in Danish, too: Åh. Mærkelig. Jeg hedder Sarah.